This idea is probably the second best of my life, and I want to thank Muhammar Ghaddafi for the inspiration. Or more honestly, I am outright stealing his idea, there was no "inspiration" on my part because I was not able to think of even one way I could improve on his idea.So this is "my" idea. I am going to set up a soiree for beautiful models, over 1.6 meters tall, under 130 pounds, and all stunningly attractive (screening to be done by me). Once they arrive, I will address them for about 2 hours, lecturing them on my religion (covered in an earlier blog) and impressing them with how pro-women I am. To this end I will especially stress the fact that a female is currently the theological grand visir/imam of my own religion, (newly named the Intergalactic Worship Group, or IWG). Her name is Brooke Shields.
After the speech, I will have a Q&A, after which I will hand out copies of the IWG bible, and a book of my quotes ("The Collected Quotations of Chairman Lost").
A sample of my quotes:
"Google bush lies you will get 13,200,000 hits." January 2009
"Rooftop ski carriers shaped to a point at the front and squared at the back. Turn it backwards, you'll get better gas mileage" February 2009
"Cowboys don't have mortgages or credit cards maxed out" March 2009
"If my motorcycle was that inefficient, I would need 2000 lb of coal to get to my mother's house on the 401" April 2009
"The Republican side of the personality comes out. It's party time, get drunk, break all the rules, get in a bar fight, pick up some prostitutes and get the clap, gamble away all the money, and get sick and hung over" May 2009
"I assume that chickens must prefer to check for food on the other side of the road, then panic at the sight of an approaching motorcycle and run for home" June 2009
"The stupidity seems to be contagious" July 2009
"The driving force of industry and commerce always has been and always will be laziness." August 2009
"I don't worry if people think I am not a patriotic American, because I am Canadian" September 2009
"Who is the Secretary General of the United Nations and is he the AntiChrist? Ans. Ban Ki-Moon, and no." October 2009
"Why did no-one ever question the Federal Highway Act before it was passed?" November 2009
Oh yes, I finally did think of an improvement on Ghaddafi's idea. Drop the no-miniskirt requirement.
Will you be touting copies of the 'The Collected Quotations of Chairman Lost"' on Lulu?
ReplyDeleteThat looks like a great way to publish a book. I like the idea of "Poems of a Lost Motorcyclist" $29.99 ($29.97 in Canada)
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