Saturday, July 31, 2010

Bikers' Guide to Porta Potties

Things are obviously changing in the world of Portapotties. This is a subject dear to my heart, being a male over 50, who likes to go for motorcycle rides.

I just heard from the Conservative grapevine that Chelsea Clinton's wedding has portapotties so luxurious it may mean the end of civilization as we know it. The idea that the Clintons are going to rent fancy portapotties with piped in music and ceramic bowls is getting conservatives boiling mad.

"Unlike everyone else on the planet, Chelsea Clinton's wedding guests won't need gas masks to do their business in a porta-potty -- because Bill's daughter is renting the swankiest outhouses in town. The portable latrines have actual porcelain toilets that flush, stereo music and hot running water -- oh yeah, and they're HUGE."

I don't know about everyone else on the planet, but just visit Port Dover, the biker capital of Ontario, and check out the portapotties across the street from the BB Gas Bar. The only difference I can see between the Clinton's rented johns and Port Dover is the piped in stereo music and the colour of the walls.

There may be another reason that conservatives are out of touch with the latest technology in portable toilets. Because they are driving around in half million dollar motor homes with self contained toilets, and they never have to search for a place to go.

A word to conservatives: The world is changing outside your motorhomes, and you are missing it. We poor people with no motor homes of our own no longer need gas masks to go to the bathroom. You should turn off Rush Limbaugh and get outside for a bit. The "luxury" portapotties in Port Dover are free, so drop by for a visit, although they are especially welcome if you have ridden a motorcycle over 2 hours to get there. There is also a permanent washroom building on the next road over, in front of Willie's Foot Long Hot Dogs. It's also free, but note that these facilities are seasonal. If you are in Port Dover out of season, and don't have a motorhome to pee in, you can always grab a coffee at Tim Hortons. No gas mask required.


1 comment:

  1. Why did this blog entry put me in mind of the 'Portosan Man' at Woodstock ... LOL!!!