Another Cure for Winter: Dagmar Midcap's Boss Hoss Video

I have seen a few Boss Hoss motorcycles around, and in my opinion they are excessive. So now I have my opinion on record, I want to say something in general about the way we describe big motorcycles vs. small motorcycles, because it has a lot to do with how easily we are attracted to them. Statements of huge horsepower tend to be be backed up with fact, and we insist on it. But statements of nimble handling and ease of maneuvering are allowed to be hugely exaggerated, and we don't care.

In this video, from Driving Television season 1, Dagmar Midcap takes a Boss Hoss for a ride. Although she is rather small, she appears to have no difficulty handling the Boss Hoss.

My only problem is with the use of words and descriptions, that in this case give an unfair advantage to larger bikes. If we continue to insist that bikes live up to the horsepower claims, but we never insist they live up to ease of handling claims, bikes will tend to get bigger. These attitudes may even explain why we have so many excessively large motorcycles.

First the description:

"She's smaller than the average motorcycle rider, and she handles the Boss Hoss with ease. And that's something we've been seeing more and more of."

Dagmar: "Acceleration is phenomenal, The small block 350 V-8 has 405 foot pounds of torque. And the larger 502 engine, well that has a pavement pounding 567 foot pounds of torque. The Boss Hoss is a lot easier to balance than you might think. It'll take you a few minutes to get used to the sheer bulk and mass of this vehicle, but after you toss it around in the corners, you'll notice that it's really well balanced. Throttle acceleration is obviously incredibly powerful, but it's smooth. At about the half way barrier, you'll notice that this engine changes dramatically. That's when the full force of the 385 horsepower kicks in. The secret is in the engineering. With the engine mounted in line with the frame and a right angle drive transmission, that allows the length of the bike to be kept to a minimum, the Boss Hoss is relatively easy to maneuver. And its low centre of gravity provides good balance. This monster needs to be treated with respect because it can bite you. As North America's ultimate cruiser, this is one bike you have to ride to believe."

I have no problem with the use of superlative words to describe the power of the Boss Hoss. When you have a bike so powerful, of course you can get away with comments like "pavement pounding torque". But then again with a bike over 1200 lb., are you really justified in saying "handles with ease", "a lot easier to balance than you might think" and "relatively easy to maneuver."? I guess the key is "relatively" and "than you might think". I never have a problem with weight while actually driving at any speed. The problems begin as you come to a stop. They continue as you try to park the bike in your shed or garage, or even in the open air. More problems occur at motels, restaurants, gas pumps, camp sites, coffee shops, beaches, ferries, U-turns, and on slippery or uneven surfaces. So if Boss Hoss is "relatively" easy to balance once rolling, then my moped makes "more power than you would think" while on its centre stand.

"The Legend of the Seeker" to the Rescue for WInter Blahs

January will probably be my second month in a row with no motorcycle ride. Things are looking pretty bleak, so it's a good thing I've been able to find some Youtube videos to watch. One series that has been entertaining is "The Legend of the Seeker", which has about 40 hours of fantasy adventure episodes, from the producers of on old favourite "Xena". The show was cancelled a few years ago after two seasons, but I have not seen any of it until now. Usually I don't like these fantasy "Lord of the Rings" type shows, but this one has plenty of leather clad women, some humour, and the sword fight scenes are easily skipped over, and the magic rules are reasonably simple and sort of consistent. Actually, that was my major objection to wizard shows, in that the magic rules changed at the whim of the writers. They basically could come up with any stupid new magic power whenever they had written themselves into a corner. I want to see the writers work for their living. Make the magic rules, then live with them when writing the end of the story.

After a while, a person can get used to all the overblown drama of these "Quest to save the World" magic and swordplay fantasies. From there it is quite a letdown, going for a simple motorcycle ride to Tim Hortons in Port Dover. Unless... through the power of imagination, to transform a simple ride into a quest. For example, Timmies becomes "The Palace of Horton" where I am seeking the chalice of decaf and donut of cruller. The barkeep refuses my Tim's Card, because he is so grateful that I am the great "Seeker of Truth" who is saving the world by slaying the evil minions of Half-truth in the Underworld of Blogosphere.

The reason I need to go to the Palace of Horton, is because my truth seeking powers grow weaker when I am trapped for too long in my Dungeon of Edgewood, fighting waves of mind-controlled zombies. So I need to rebuild my powers with the aforementioned chalice of decaf. I also enjoy meeting up with other fire breathing dragon riders of all types. The Slow Riders of Hog, and the Slow Riders of Non-Hog. Even the fast riders of Squid are welcome company.

Of course, I could not safely ride my fire breathing Vulcan past all the evil cagelings who are trying to kill me without my "Lid of Invincibility" and my "Cloak of Anti-Invisibility" (my helmet and high visibility colour motorcycle jacket).

So back to reality. The jet stream is dipping all the way south to Mexico right now. January is a washout. Can't wait to see the long range weather forecast for February.

Picture: Tabrett Bethell, on a "Legend of the Seeker" poster, that I lightly photoshopped. I like her character, Cara, a reformed evil "Mord'sith" now allied to the good guys. But she has hard time resisting the habit of killing people they meet along the way. Such as Tim Hortons cashiers who pour coffee instead of decaf. Or forget to put it in a china mug and save the environment.

Is the Jeremy Clarkson Ford Fiesta Test Fake?

Jeremy Clarkson Top Gear road test of the Ford Fiesta Youtube video

What a piece of marketing propaganda, and coming from where? the most unlikely source, the BBC!

A Ford Fiesta gets tested by a TV car show called "Top Gear". In the test, it is allowed to take part in a beach assault. It is carried by a Royal Marines landing craft and Jeremy drives it ashore under fire to let off one of the soldiers on the beach.

The episode has got to have had a huge positive impact for Ford Fiesta sales. Ford could never have hired the Royal Marines for their own commercial, and even if they could, it would not have had the same powerful effect. But apparently the Royal Marines are willing to cooperate with a BBC TV show, and in return they get some positive media attention for themselves.

During this spot, Jeremy manages to avoid looking like a Fiesta commercial by calling the car shit several times (but only the stripped down model) and dismissing its "green" features in a joking way. However, everything else he says about the car feeds a fantasy image that Ford could only hope for in its wildest dreams.

Although Top Gear apparently started out doing serious car testing, they have gradually gotten into more faked and thus more exciting simulations. I guess they found that this was the way to increasing the number of viewers.

One viewer apparently missed the old style road tests, and wrote in asking to go back to real car testing, which inspired Jeremy to do this totally over the top "serious" mock road test of the Fiesta.

So instead of seriously considering the power, fuel efficiency, space, reliability, speed etc. in comparison to another car, Jeremy sets up a series of exaggerated so-called tests that are faked to show off the best aspects of the Fiesta. Luggage space? A stuffed Zebra head happens to fit exactly in the back, and so that is judged excellent. The Fiesta is small and maneuverable, so he stages a chase in a Mall against a much larger and more powerful Corvette. I believe it is possible that the Fiesta would win, given the slippery floors and extremely limited space. But the whole fake chase was scripted and choreographed like a Hollywood movie. And he should have put the Fiesta up against a Honda Fit or a Toyota Yaris. And finally, nobody drives in a mall anyway. Of course we all knew that, didn't we? especially the last one.

But Jeremy was not finished yet, the Royal Marines beach landing was next. The Fiesta went off the landing craft and was immediately over the "bonnet" in salt water, nose down. That apparently didn't kill the unsnorkeled engine. Also, the front wheels with regular street tires on them had no problem finding traction on the mud or sand under the water, and the Fiesta plowed its way, apparently with no help, up onto the beach. I have driven on beaches at times, and I would not try that. The beach above the water line seemed hard packed enough to drive on, so that part was credible, but not the part under the water. In fact, if the Fiesta could drive through the water, we would have a whole new class of amphibious assault vehicles being tested right now.

The real outcome of the test was probably at least one written-off green Fiesta. And if they did, I'm sure Ford would be happy to write it off. We are not told if they have paid any other money to make this show, but really I would not be surprised.

Picture from this blog, that mentions the Marines came up with the idea, and specifically mentions they understood the show as comedy, not a serious test. It does not mention that any spectators were allowed to watch. I figure either a tow rope, or an underwater ramp would do the job, but I was not able to find any confirmation.
http://www.fquick.com/blog/Jeremy_Clarkson_drives_Ford_Fiesta_into_Sea/2506

"An answer for non-believers" is not a Real Answer

By I. Tawt Itawapuddytat. January 2011

Another forwarded email, this time the joke about April Fool's being the Atheists religious holiday. Actually that is funny, even to atheists (I imagine), as it can be taken two ways.

Here is a related article by Benny Reppond titled "An answer for non-believers" on DailyWorld.com


This article unwittingly exposes the central hypocrisy of Fundamentalist Christianity, if you try to follow the logic. Starting with the statement:

"People do not want to believe in God for a simple reason: They don't want to be held accountable for their actions."

OK So far that's a plausible statement, if you assume that God holds people to account for their actions.

Then some explanations and examples of the above statement that you can read in the original article linked above. But next comes the unravelling of the argument with:

"How can you escape the judgment of God? It is very easy."

Was Pastor Benny Reppond asleep during his Logic 101 class at Bible School? He is now promising an easy way out of God's Judgment, apparently blissfully unaware of what he just wrote a few lines above about atheists. He continues:

"All you have to do is to believe that Jesus is God's only begotten Son and to ask Jesus to come into your heart and forgive you of all your sins and to guide your life through this journey on earth.

When we ask Jesus into our hearts, then He pardons us from all of our iniquities and transgressions against God."

Well in the end, it seems that we have a toss-up. This is on the central idea of Fundamentalist Christianity, not some insignificant fact like how many animals were on the ark. We are told atheists don't want to believe in God because they don't want to be held accountable for their actions. But the exact same thing is also true, people like Pastor Benny himself believes in God as an easy way to "escape the judgment of God." So apparently nobody wants to be held accountable for their actions.

I sometimes wonder how on Earth people can come to such absurd contradictions. I heard one yesterday. Somebody's grandmother was just told that a friend of hers was starting to use a walker. "Thank God", she said "that I don't need one yet." Except that not only does she have a walker, but that she never goes anywhere without it. Nobody is going to call this bulls**t of course. So this person can and will carry on with the delusion. But when we have delusional religions like so-called Christian fundamentalism, trying to take over the government and the schools, and trying to launch an apocalyptic nuclear Armageddon, and make Jesus out to be a warmonger, somebody needs to speak up against this. It might even be blasphemy.

Picture: Random kitten off the Internet. No connection to this article unless the Kitten is an atheist or born on April Fool's day. But kittens are so cute, and all the other pictures I had were stupid.

2011 Ford Fiesta Hatch for Fuel Economy Fans?

I happened to be at a Ford dealership yesterday and noticed a 2011 Ford Fiesta hatchback. What caught my eye was the Transport Canada rating of 58 mpg highway, significantly higher than my Toyota Matrix's rating of 48 by the same agency. (Canadian gallons, or 4.9 l/100km)) Because I like the hatchbacks, and cars with good fuel economy, I stopped in to talk to a salesman and find out a bit more.

There were some very interesting discoveries. First is that the high fuel economy comes at a price. Usually, you can get the best fuel economy on a stripped down standard transmission model with no options. Now economy is being marketed as an option. The Fiesta has a "Super Fuel Economy" package listed at $500, which is "side tire deflectors, underbody shields, lower grille blocker, cruise control, spare wheel with wheel cap (?), and a rear spoiler on the sedan. (the hatchback has a spoiler standard). Then the book says "requires 6-speed automatic." The six speed auto is listed at $1250 and it is a dual clutch transmission, automatically shifted for you.  My Ford booklet did not mention the low rolling resistance tires, that I think are also part of this package.

The SFE package is worth 3 mpg, the automatic transmission has a 2 mpg advantage over the manual, so it will cost to make those extra drops of gas work for you. And the six speed has no manual shift mode.

According to the MPG-Omatic test below this Fiesta is missing an real time mpg readout (I cannot confirm this yet , apparently it is standard on the Euro model) , which I will want for my next car. That is a pretty cheap item to add, and I want one. I think they should be in all cars, even Hummers (as a punishment). But in a Fiesta with good fuel economy, it would be a shame to miss it.

The Fiesta hatchback is 3 in. lower and 11 in. shorter than my Matrix. The hatchback model is simply the Fiesta sedan with the trunk lopped off. So it has less overall room than the sedan. I would prefer a station wagon type, where the roof line is extended to the end of the sedan's trunk, to get more room. Or at least part way. The hatchback is not available in standard trim, and so it is also more expensive than the sedan. That was a problem I had with the Mazda 3 hatchback five years ago, where it was not available with the standard engine.

Speaking of engine, I like variable valve timing, which is becoming more common. This Fiesta has a 1600cc "Twin independent variable camshaft timing". Unless this is just marketing hype, I'm assuming that is better than my Matrix's system of adjusting both camshafts together.

Anti-nibble electric power steering which compensates for wheel imbalance, side winds and road camber. If I was to take a test drive, that's something I would be paying close attention to. Being as lazy as I am, I hate constantly having to move the wheel back and forth, and correct for side winds. One more step to the car virtually driving itself. And of course I hate the feel of a vibrating steering wheel.

Another fuel economy booster is the tire pressure monitoring system, which is standard. But it's kind of expensive to then add winter rims and tires, because I believe the new rims will need new sensor units in each one. Maybe I would just forget about the tire pressure monitoring on the winter rims.

So to sum up, I thought the hatchback with good fuel economy would be available as a base model, but I was wrong. The hatch is an upscale model only, and I would also need the automatic transmission to get the best fuel economy. I'm going to need a new car in about ten years, so that gives some car maker the chance to look at the Fiesta, and make a hatchback model a bit longer, in standard trim, with an MPG readout on the dash (that I do not have on my Toyota Matrix). I don't mind shelling out $1500 for a 6 speed dual clutch automatic, if it gets better gas mileage, but make sure there is a manual override. That would make it more fun.

I forgot to mention the Fiesta fuel filler with no screw on cap. Last night I almost could not get the Matrix cap back on, I was shivering from standing there in -10c waiting for the gas to fill up. (yes I was wearing a parka and gloves) I want one of those no-cap fillers.

http://www.mpgomatic.com/2010/09/19/2011-ford-fiesta-review/

Bikers Guide: Kitchener to Port Dover

In honour of the next Friday 13th (May 2011), this is my Biker's Guide for the trip from Kitchener to Port Dover, a distance of 87.8 km. I am very familiar with this road, due to the fact that I go there a lot in the summer with my motorcycles. Map here.

This is not a twisty road, so you won't be needing any road race equipment. Likewise, speeds are never over 110 kph, there are no places where you are alone without traffic or police cars patrolling. I guess everybody in southern Ontario knows what I'm talking about since the whole southern part of the province is kind of like that.

So let's start from the corner of Homer Watson and Sterling In Kitchener. This is at Lakeside Park, and if Lakeside Park had not been the centre of a big fight over road right of way in the sixties, Homer Watson would have continued on right into the heart of Kitchener, but it didn't. So the plan is to go more or less the length of Homer Watson, a big multi-lane road with traffic lights and Tim Horton's all the way along. Although it's really not much fun, you will find the traffic does at least move quite quickly, never over 90 kph, but it's a bit of a struggle when I take my Honda 175 with only 15 horsepower. But normally I have my Vulcan 900 Classic.

At the other end of Homer Watson, you have the 401, and just before that is a Petro Canada station, next to a Tim Horton's, next to a McDonald's. Pretty much heaven on earth. And if you turn right at the Petro Canada, you will come to New Dundee Road, which runs west, right beside the 401 for a few kilometers. You need to make a left onto Reichert Dr, which is immediately after Robert Ferris Drive. Now you can go through a bit of nice forest where hopefully you will not hit a deer, and continue down to a fast right hand sweeper, then another right hand sweeper (about 40 kph slower than the last one) then a really sharp curve to the left (under 50) with a stop sign as you come around the corner. This is where you turn left.

You will follow this road over the 401 and turn right at the next junction on Dumfries road. Not only do you have a lot of trucks coming in and out here, but the Police Association has a compound, and there is an extremely rough railway crossing. This is not the most pleasant part of the road, but let's keep a positive attitude. No traffic lights!!!

Well no traffic lights until you cross Cedar Creek Road, a couple of kilometers south of of the tracks. But something nice is coming up, and you want to be sure you are not following a granny in a station wagon before you get to the next nice curve, the downhill s-bend before Wrigley's Corners. Luckily there is a good long passing area just before it. Although I think the sign recommends 50, this curve is often taken by trucks at 100 kph.

Soon after the curves, turn left at the stop sign, then right at the next stop sign and you will be on Highway 24A to Paris. Actually a nice piece of road if the pavement was not upheaved by frost most of the time. Slightly curving, through forests, but slow with a double yellow no-passing zone most of the way. And every 10 metres, another lurch as the motorcycle crosses a frost heave.

Paris Ontario is next, a really pretty town built right on the Grand River. Many restaurants have little decks out the back that overlook the river. The river is just to the east of the main road (on your left). Apparently Paris is named after a plaster of paris factory, and not after Paris, France. So you will not see very much fake French culture staged by the Chamber of Commerce to entice the tourists. A very wise move. And every June, Paris hosts the Canadian Vintage Motorcycle rally, and event I try to never miss.

There are a couple of pedestrian crosswalks to watch out for, and then as you come up the hill on the other side of town, begin signalling a right turn immediately, even though you have no clue where you are going. That's what the sign says to do. So curve to the right, then soon after, you will have another very sharp uphill merge to the right onto highway 2. This hill climbs rapidly with a passing lane and a fairly sharp 50 kph curve in the middle, then a flashing light and a 40 kph school zone at the top that is often a radar trap on school days when the kids are milling about. Half way up, there is a pullout to the right where you can park and look down at the town of Paris if you like.

Finally when you are past all the kooky signs and traffic situations in Paris, you come to the Pioneer gas station, where I often stop because it has pay-at-the-pump, my favourite splash 'n dash place. I hate taking off my helmet to walk inside and line up behind people buying lottery tickets to pay for gas. Instead I just use my credit card at the pump and remember to take my receipt just in case.

As soon as you come out of the Pioneer Gas Pumps, Rest Acres Road is on the left, and that goes down to Simcoe and Port Dover. You will pass a third Paris Tim Hortons that is opening soon, just before you leave town, it will probably end up being a good motorcycle stopping place, just like the other two in Paris.

Now you finally have a bit of plain road, all the way through past Simcoe there is no more confusion. But there is a big problem with police patrols, and lines of cars travelling together. If you follow one of these lines, for sure somebody is going to stop at a side street and everybody comes to a sudden stop in the middle of nowhere. It is a bad place to be looking at the scenery. Good thing there is none. Simcoe is big enough to have traffic lights, so you might have to stop four or five times before you get out the other side.

Once you get past Simcoe, look for the sign for Port Dover to the left. That will be highway 6, and follow it down to the bottom of the hill in Port Dover just before the BB Gas Bar, where you get all the hot dog places and beach shops. The Tim Horton's is on the left, and the still vacant Rossi's restaurant next door is a great place to park a motorcycle. You should have lots of company there. From here you can walk to the beach, to restaurants, to boat cruises, and of course to Tim Horton's. In the summer time, there are deluxe porta potties, and public toilets are open. That's probably why so many people enjoy coming here. Also, to the east and the west are scenic roads following the lake Erie shore.

Picture: My bike at the pier in Port Dover, October 2009. The sleeping bag on the back seat is only there as a backrest. I bought a studded leather roll pack at the motorcycle show to replace it, just for the looks.

Dragging Floorboards, Keeping Up With Harley

A thread on the "All Things Motorcycle" forum starts off

I've been noticing that I can't seem to keep up with my riding buddies through curves. Whenever I try to keep up by increasing my speed I end up scraping my floorboards therefore I end up slowing down in order to negotiate the turn. At first I thought it was because my bike was lower to the ground (I have a Honda 2005 VTX1300S), but one of my friends has a Harley Softail and he seems to have no problem going faster through the turns. Am I doing something wrong if I'm scraping the floorboards? Is it a matter of technique that I will be able to improve?

Two questions. Your buddy on the Harley, is his name Valentino Rossi? No? Could you keep up to your buddy on a Harley if you were driving a normal passenger car? If yes, then you can be helped.

A cruiser is not designed to go around corners fast, but it can keep up with normal grandma-driving car traffic quite easily, if the rider has any experience. However, the design limit of this motorcycle is its limited lean angle. When a motorcycle leans over so far that the weight rests on some solidly mounted steel instead of rubber, the whole motorcycle will either be levered upright, or it will slide on the steel. Levering upright will make the bike go wide of the turn. Sliding on steel bits lifts the tire off the road and eliminates tracking stability. Then the bike lowsides (falls down into the turn) and then goes wide of the turn just because objects tend to go in a straight line when there is no rubber on the road.

It is not a good idea to push the cornering limit on a cruiser, if you don't know what you are doing. It is also bad to push the cornering limit on a sport bike, but that is usually done on race tracks, a safer location for many, many reasons. And I'm not talking about wannabe racers on sportbikes. I mean riders who really can go fast enough around a corner to push the sport bike's performance envelope. That is insanely fast. Riders who don't practice on a racetrack, do not have the skill to push a sport bike's limit on the road. They will crash long before the bike reaches its limit.

Don't ask me why, but cruiser riders never take their bikes to a racetrack to push their limits. What's wrong with pushing the limits of a cruiser on the road? You will crash into oncoming traffic or into a solid object like a tree if you exceed the bike's limit. And yes, even a moderately skilled rider can push the cornering limits of a cruiser. When you hear that floorboard scraping, it is a warning that you are approaching the limit. While the floorboard will fold up, if you lean it much more, a non-folding item will become your main contact with the road, and then you will crash. Probably into something hard.

You are puzzled by a friend on another type of bike who can corner a teeny bit faster than you. Let me clear that up. Every cruiser has slightly different cornering clearance. Put it another way, it is perfectly normal for each bike to have a different angle that it can lean over before scraping. In case you were wondering, there are no government regulations that say a motorcycle must be able to corner at a certain speed. So there is your answer. Every bike has a different limit. You are probably riding with someone who has a faster bike. Get used to it.

But given that you are slower than a Harley, this could be a hazardous situation, so I am willing to give you a few pointers in case it is indeed your technique that sucks. You can actually learn how to minimize scraping in the corners. All the riders I see scraping floorboards are sitting upright on the bike, letting the bike do all the leaning, while they do none. The answer is to learn how to lean your body into the corner, which takes skill and practice. I will just cover a few of the main techniques. First you must learn countersteering and use it. Once you know how to countersteer, lean your upper body with the bike (or even further). While leaning your body, keep your head vertical using your neck muscles, because keeping a level head is how you maintain your balance and perspective. That's why it's called "Keeping a level head". If you need a little more clearance, you can hang half your butt off the seat on inside of the corner.

I mentioned countersteering, which is necessary for you to keep the bike leaned over to the correct angle. It is also very useful if the bike scrapes something hard on the ground and stands up, because countersteering will allow you to lean it back over immediately and maintain your line. Countersteering also allows you to apply the brakes while leaning over, which is another thing that can stand the bike up. Countersteering is a huge safety factor while cornering, in my opinion it is a basic necessity of life.

I forgot to mention about the passenger - they can throw off your balance, so I would leave them at home. And don't take this "hanging off" technique too far, or you may end up losing traction, because typical cruiser tires are not very sticky either.

There is another approach to take when trying to keep up to another bike. You will find that by taking it easy in the corners, and not touching down, and keeping a smooth unhurried line, through the corner, you will actually be going faster overall and scraping less. But every time you rush, and overdo it, you lose momentum, make corrections and fall further behind.

Something I have not really talked about yet is braking and accelerating, because I rarely do that while riding on twisty roads. But if I was trying to keep up with a really fast rider, who is faster through the curves than me, I would brake harder and later for the curves. And I would shift down and hit the gas full on as soon as I am straightened out after the curve. But because this is not a race, I could ask the other rider to try to keep a steady speed, to not speed up between the curves. That gives each of us a chance to take the curves at our own speed, and I will be able to close the gap on the straights. And of course, if he does not want to keep a steady pace to let you catch up, then you need a new riding buddy, or a new bike.

Picture: First of three pictures off the page mentioned in this blog. What do I see here? Wearing a t-shirt, jeans, fingerless gloves, beanie helmet is not going to provide much protection in a fall, and would not be allowed on a race track. One hand off the handlebar while leaned quite far into the curve. From this angle, it is also possible to see the rider is not leaning to the right with the bike, and is sitting more or less up straight. The other two pictures I linked to, show the same rider possibly in the same curve, scraping the underside of the bike, sliding and falling off.