Friday, April 10, 2009

If Jesus Returned

I got the idea for a Good Friday blog from Mark Steyn's review of the movie "The Passion of the Christ"

Mark made the sarcastic comment "if Jesus came back today he’d most likely be a gay Anglican bishop in a committed relationship driving around in an environmentally-friendly car with an “Arms Are For Hugging” sticker on the way to an interfaith dialogue with a Wiccan and a couple of Wahhabi imams. If that’s your boy, Mel Gibson’s movie is not for you."

All right now this brings up an interesting topic. Obviously even Mark does not think Jesus would come back like that. Why not? Because this version Jesus would be forgettable. I am going to go with the assumption if Jesus came back, whatever it is, it would not be forgettable.

The latest controversy is between wimp Jesus and strong Jesus. While there may be some disagreement among some people as to whether Jesus had the power to zap everybody with lightning, there is no argument about the fact that He didn't use it.

After two easy points now we come to the more controversial speculation. Would Jesus speak out about homes for the homeless and food for the hungry? Or would Jesus encourage them to get a job, and stress their personal responsibility. Would Jesus speak out against war, or would he agree that Iran be bombed before they develop their own atomic missiles?

What would Jesus say about the Israelis invading Gaza earlier this year. Would he say, "In Gaza, they don't vote for Hamas because they want access to university education." or would he say, "If someone sends 4000 rockets on your head, do not send 8000 rockets back, but let the Palestinians have a land of their own and peace will eventually return"

What would Jesus say about gun ownership. Would he carry a loaded gun because it's the best way to defend yourself? Or would he walk about unarmed?

Would he answer people with insults, name calling, or a hellfire missile, or would he try to reason with people? On abortion, would he say to let the mothers decide for themselves, or would he say punish those who kill unborn babies?

Would he drive (A) Hummer (B) Toyota Prius (C) Harley Davidson Fat Boy (D) Honda Moped (E) Bicycle (F) Public transportation. (G) Walk.

Would he say (A) "Obama is the Anti-Christ" (B) "give Obama a chance" (C) "I don't get involved in US politics".

About creation, would Jesus say "Teach both biblical creation and evolution and let the children decide for themselves" or would he say "Let the scientists teach about science. You do not need to teach about Adam and Eve, but make sure you teach children to read, and let them have a bible."

About global warming would Jesus say (A) "It is a hoax, go on using just as much oil as you like, the American way of life is your God given right." or (B) "There is only so much oil below the surface, share some with future generations".

Would Jesus come back and spread his message (A) Walking the streets with a placard around his neck saying "Repent Sinners" (B) A paid writer for a well known publication (C) A commentator on Fox News or Comedy Channel (D) An obscure blogger.

About Muslims (A) The Serbs figured that out—as other Continentals will in the years ahead: if you can’t out breed the enemy, cull ’em. (B) An attack on any ethnic group is an attack on me.

And of course what would Jesus do about Christian Ministers on TV selling miracles at $50 a pop to little old ladies? I know we all agreed earlier, no use of lightning, but still a tough call.

Sorry I don't have the answers at the back of the book, it's all pure speculation. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and leave comments below if you like, maybe you can add some other good questions.

Picture: The Last Supper, with a fast food menu board up in the background.

4 comments:

  1. If you actually understood anything about Christian theology (or Judaism for that matter), you'd know that Christ is to return as the Messiah at the end of days.

    So all your musings about how he'd deal with various present-day calamities are moot.

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  2. I resist the (almost irresistible) urge to pontificate at length on this subject. But it is, after all, your blog, and I should restrain myself ... LOL!!

    In any event, anything I might write on this subject would pale in comparison to what Bart Ehrman has already written, in his excellent guide to the New Testament, Misquoting Jesus.

    As a previous poster commented, 'your musings ... are moot.' I'm inclined to agree - but most certainly not for the reasons that poster suggests.

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  3. I had forgotten about "the end of days" when I wrote that everyone agrees that He would not use the power to smite down anyone. I should have checked with my sister before posting the blog, I'm sure she would have reminded me.

    But Jesus had much to say about how to conduct one's life before the end of days. Hopefully this point will not prevent considering the other questions.

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  4. About the comments, I opened the comments to the public, and so I should welcome comments positive, negative or whatever. Although I prefer to keep the tone polite, I do not know how to define that, and I'm OK with anything so far. Look at Why I Blog about Motorcyucles and Propaganda that's where most of the comments are coming.

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