Lost and Burgie Went West, Go East

My blog of our trip to Newfoundland is here

http://lostandburgiegowest.blogspot.com/

Sorry, cannot figure out how to make a proper link or labels with my phone.

Starting Campfires

When I was growing up in Baie Comeau, we did not have all the rules to protect me that I now enjoy. And one of the things we used to do was start campfires.  I actually had some training in campfire building, so I suppose there was no real excuse for some of the things I did.  I guess I will start with the worst, and actually it didn't turn out too bad, as I did not burn down the entire town.

I decided to start a campfire in the forest near town.  Sounds bad already doesn't it?  Especially in Baie Comeau, a small northern community surrounded by combustible forests, which was nearly evacuated in the early fifties due to a massive forest fire that came within a couple of hundred yards of the house I grew up in.  And I guess I have doubly no excuse, as my father was a forest fire fighter, and I was in the Boy Scouts.  And the road leading out of town into the bush had one of those huge fire danger warning thermometers on it.  I didn't see it that day, as I built my fire inside the town limits.

So me and a few friends were stoking up this fire, which I didn't realize was right under a big spruce or fir tree.  But after the fire got going pretty good, there was this loud whoosh sound overhead, as the entire tree, probably about 20 ft tall, burst into flame all at once.  I don't remember exactly how we put it out, but no emergency fire crews were involved and the incident went no further.  I guess we must have put out our campfire with water, and then the tree, which was thankfully isolated a bit from the rest of the forest, burned itself out.

Many years later, I had three little boys of my own about 3-6 years old, and we were camping in an Ontario provincial park.  They were poking sticks into the fire, as people sometimes do, and of the sticks began to glow red at the tips.  They started waving them around, and just then a park ranger came by and put an end to this activity.  I think he muttered as he was leaving something about this is the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen.  Well, by my standards it wasn't even close.

Today I was researching methods of starting fires on the Internet, in preparation for our camping trip to Newfoundland this summer.  In particular, I was thinking that maybe I didn't really need to bring a 2 pound axe to make fires.  After all, we are never allowed to gather our own wood at regulation campgrounds.  The wood that is supplied is already cut to length and split.  My only job is to split it down to smaller sticks and supply kindling and a light of some sort.  You can actually do that with a large knife which weighs much less than 1 kg.

While I was watching videos of people using a knife to make kindling, I came across all kinds of interesting ideas.  For example I didn't know that you could use a saw to split wood.  Here's one of many videos about that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSOXU0rrqOM

I came across a huge variety of ways to start a fire.  Of course the cliched "rubbing two sticks together", which I have never done myself, unless they were matches.  There is another way involving a 9 volt battery touched to steel wool.  The shower of sparks from certain kinds of metal is a traditional favourite. Then of course, matches and Bic lighters.  Those are some of the ways of getting the first flame.  Next is the tinder, or what you set fire to first with the match or sparks.  Here I came upon another revelation.  Vaseline-soaked cotton balls are now very popular for tinder.  I understand why it would work, but when I was young we frowned on using artificial fuels to start the fire.  For example, pouring a gallon of gasoline on the fire would be a no-no.  And actually, I always thought the politically correct way to start a fire was with some birch bark and thin sticks.  What we always ended up using was scrap paper, and often it didn't burn hot enough to start the sticks on fire.  So the fire would flame out, which was embarrassing in scout camp partly because the big puff of smoke signalled everyone else that you fire starting attempt was a flop.  We used to have competitions, where we had to start the fire with only three matches.  If you could start it with one match, it was the perfect fire start, unless gasoline was involved.  But what about Vaseline?  Apparently it burns pretty good, and nobody has to know you are using petroleum products.  Then I found out that Cherry Chapstick works just as well, and so does Purelle hand sanitizer!

So I started to adjust my packing list for this summer's trip.  I may just take a knife instead of the axe, and save 700 grams in my camping bag.  And I'll add a small jar of Vaseline, but no cotton balls.  I figure I'll just poke the stick of kindling in the jar of Vaseline then set the stick on fire with a Bic lighter.

Before I commit to a new way of starting fires, I must first test it myself.  I don't trust my own eyes when looking at YouTube videos.  Luckily Mary Ann was away today, so I could build my practice campfire in the bathroom with the fan on.  I could also go outside in the snow, but that could attract too much attention in a highly disciplined, rules-driven place like Kitchener, Ontario.  So I grabbed some wood from outside that fell during the ice storm, I'm sure nobody will miss it.  I used a hatchet to cut it into 30 cm lengths, about the same as campground firewood.  Then I brought it inside and used only a knife to split it up into small kindling sticks.  I put it all into an aluminum pan, and stuck one of the sticks in Vaseline then lit it on fire and put it in the middle of the pile. After a while, when I was sure the fire was truly started, I doused it with water and cleaned up the mess.  I also threw the burned sticks out in the snow in the back yard.  See, I'm really careful these days.

http://voices.yahoo.com/building-starting-campfires-16294.html


Picture: How to start a campfire with  Harley.  It's not what I thought (park the bike in a pile of kindling and toss a match in the gas tank) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xxffd2wAn9s

The Mosquitoes, the Tent Pegs, and Newfoundland

Last night I started coming down with a cold or flu, so I'm cancelling any immediate plans.  Now, with nothing to do and socked in with snow, I will write the first blog entry for 2014.

This coming summer, Mary Ann is trying to persuade me to go motorcycling to Newfoundland.  She has visited the island twice, I have never been there.  I never felt any real need to go, as the flora, fauna, climate and geology is similar to Baie Comeau, where I grew up.  Also she likes to camp in a tent.  I have done some camping near Baie Comeau, with the Boy Scouts, when I was a kid, and it was not too appealing. I imagine camping in Newfoundland would be about the same.  Lots of mosquitoes, and blackflies. And even though there are nice beaches, you can't really go swimming because it is too cold.

Every time the topic of going to Newfoundland comes up, people praise it warmly, saying the Newfoundlanders are very friendly.  They do not mention mosquitoes. Did I mention I hate mosquitoes?  I am still thankful to be able to walk outside in a place like Kitchener, and not be eaten alive by black flies and mosquitoes in the summer.  Funny how other people don't seem to be as bothered about them as I am.

Another thing I like about Kitchener, is that we have a near drought in the summer.  Except for last year, the grass all goes brown for July and August, then revives in the Fall.  This lack of rain is great for motorcycling and camping.  I always had the impression it was much more rainy on the East Coast, but then I checked Wikipedia for scientifically measured precipitation for various locations, and found out I am wrong.  Despite my personal impressions, it rains more in Kitchener in July and August than in Baie Comeau, or [St. John's] Newfoundland.  However the average daily highs are 5c (Celsius) higher in Kitchener.  In Baie Comeau, the lows are also 5c lower, but in Newfoundland it seems that the lows are 5c higher.  So on paper, Newfoundland actually looks like a great spot for camping and motorcycling.  Not as much rain as I remembered, not too hot in the day, not too cold at night.

I am not completely sold yet on visiting Newfoundland.  Many years ago Mary Ann visited "The Rock" by car with a friend.  After getting off the ferry, they set up camp for the night.  The next day, her friend gave up because of the mosquitoes, and they caught the next ferry home.  It was not Mary Ann who wanted to come home immediately, but she does not seem to be as affected by mosquitoes as I am.  I would be more like Mary Ann's mosquito-shy friend.

One hope I see for camping in Newfoundland is because of our tent.  Of course it has mosquito netting, I think (not really sure) even the old boy scout tents had mosquito netting.  But more importantly, it is probably the first tent I have ever had that can stand up to 40 kph winds.  That gives me an idea about how to camp without pesky critters.  Newfoundland has quite a few campsites that are right near the water, and so get a lot of wind.  As a matter of fact, one provincial park is called "Blow Me Down", which I assume refers to the strong winds.  We will also be visiting "Dildo Run Provincial Park", which may or may not have strong winds, but it should at least have a few dildos.

Mosquitoes do not hang around much in strong winds, so if we restrict our camping to exposed areas near the ocean, I might be able to enjoy the days we use the tent.  I do like the scenery near the ocean, and I don't care if it is too cold to swim.

I don't normally try to camp in windy areas, and actually I have never really needed to set up this tent for wind.  It came with instructions, but did not include the necessary guy lines and pegs to set it up for strong wind, .  I have spent some time in the last couple of weeks researching available guy lines and pegs, and found out this is a much more complicated subject than I ever imagined.

I want to just to give an idea of the complications of bashing in tent pegs in the new world internet forums and specialized camping outfitters.  When I bought my first tent in 1972, it came with 8 plastic pegs.  Those were the first plastic pegs I had ever seen.  I remember at one of our first campsites, I was hammering in a peg with a neighbour kid watching, and she went running off upon seeing the pegs: "Mommy mommy! he's using plastic pegs!!!".   Anyway the pegs were fairly good, although twice they let go, and the tent fell down in a rainstorm with me in it.  Once, the tent was  taken down by my uncle's dog, who was camping with us.  The big Boxer was laying down at the end of his 15 metre long leash, after having circled our tent three times.  Suddenly a squirrel ran across the campsite being chased by a yappy little dog and a larger braying Basset Hound. Gip (the Boxer) woke up and suddenly took off after them, thus wrapping his cord around the tent and then pulling it very tight.  The tent folded like an umbrella, the 8 tent pegs each popped out with a "ping" and they were still falling back to the ground as the tent was dragged along behind the dog until the leash ran out with a sudden jerk.

I guess I'm getting off topic, probably the meds I'm taking for my cold.  Back to the present day.  You have aluminum pegs, steel pegs, titanium pegs. Round cross section, Y section, V section,  Snow pegs, circus tent pegs, sand pegs.  You still have plastic pegs, now some are glow-in-the-dark, so you don't stub your toe at night.  If that's not good enough, some plastic pegs have battery operated LEDs.  Our tent can take about 18 pegs, so cost, size and weight are going to be a consideration.

Finally I started going through some of my old camping gear, and found a stash of cheap metal pegs left behind by my three kids in the years that they used to borrow my tent.  It's hard to believe these pegs are bent by simply hammering them into the ground, some are twisted like corkscrews, other more like pretzels.  Anyway I set about straightening them all out, so save a little money at the outfitting store.

So now that I'm bashing tent pegs in a vise with a hammer, I guess camping in Newfoundland is getting to be more of a reality.  Mary Ann really wants to go, and the more I look at Newfoundland on the internet, the more interesting things I see.  Some of the locations we would like to explore, other than Blow Me Down and Dildo Run: Corner Brook (a paper mill town like Baie Comeau), Gros Morne, Twillingate (icebergs), Cape St Mary (amazing close up of a bird sanctuary), and St John's (Pubs and two of Mary Ann's nieces go to school there).  Originally we thought of going to the French (I mean from France) territory of St Pierre et Miquelon, but finally decided it is too remote, expensive, and the ferry does not take motorcycles.  Or cars.  So this time we'll give it a miss, but we will also be visiting the Gaspe and the Magdalen Islands in Quebec, also PEI and the Cabot trail.  So lots still to look forward to.

Picture:  There are a lot more at this site: http://www.vridetv.com/newfoun.html   Hmmmm wonder why so many pictures on that site look like it's raining.  Maybe because it's in May instead of August.

Picking a Tent for Motorcycle Camping

I have enjoyed motorcycle camping for many years, even though I have sometimes had troubles with tents.  Twice I have had a tent fall down on me during a rain storm, which might make you think that buying a waterproof tent comes second to buying a windproof tent.  But when you manage to finally get it together, camping is fun.

I must start with a clarification.  My definition of motorcycle camping is an activity done by a riding a 2 wheeled motorcycle to where I'm going while carrying all the stuff I need to sleep.  I do not bother to bring cooking appliances with me. If I cannot make a meal with firewood and food from a nearby grocery store, I will ride or walk to a nearby restaurant.  So I hope everything is clear now, and I can proceed with my explanation of what kind of tent to bring, assuming I already have figured out what kind of mattress and sleeping bag, and that I know how to pack everything.

Most tents have poles, and the poles break down into segments.  The length of the pole segments is what  determines how long the tent will be when packed, and so will also determine the size of bag I need to pack my camping gear. By way of explanation, I have already decided the most efficient way to carry sleeping accommodations on a bike, is to pack the tent, sleeping bags and mattresses in a duffel bag and strap it to the luggage rack or the passenger seat (if either is available).  Some people prefer to pack the poles separately, which gives them more freedom in jamming the tent in any old space.  I prefer to roll up the poles in the middle of the tent, where they are well protected and will not be lost.

As I read about tents, I come across this concept: A "Bomb Proof" tent.  Be assured, that no tent will survive a direct hit from a bomb.  But neither will a tent survive a tornado without some precautions. (Precaution number one, never camp in Kansas. People in Kansas, don't write  comments complaining about this, do something about those tornadoes then get back to me).    In the same vein, there is no perfect do-all tent.  What you must do is decide where you want to camp, and in what weather (and other) conditions.  Then get a tent that is the best balance of your conflicting requirements.  And then, go to where the conditions match your tent.

A tent design is always a trade off between different requirements.  A tent designed for winter conditions does not need to be waterproof, for example.  Neither does it need to have bug screens.  But it should have a very strong roof support, and probably also be fireproof in case anyone lights a fire inside for warmth.  Tents for "stealth" camping (i.e. free camping) should be subdued in colour, not gaudy oranges or yellows with glow in the dark ropes.

When I go camping, I hate being bitten by mosquitoes, so I always get a tent that seals up completely except for screen windows to let in air.  In fact I hate mosquitoes so much, that I also want my tent to be windproof, so I can set up out in the open, far from sheltering trees.  Preferably on an open beach area.  That's because I know mosquitoes don't like windy areas.

I don't need a tent so big that I can sit in it all day.  When I'm motorcycle camping, I spend most of my time outdoors.  So the tent only needs to be big enough for me and my wife to sleep in, and to be able to change clothes in.  I know can change clothes with about 110 cm of head room.  I don't need a tent that I can stand up or sit in a chair.  I also don't want something the size of a coffin where I can only lay down.  The headroom is very important, and everyone needs to make their own decision.  But the more headroom you have, the less wind resistant the tent is, and the heavier it needs to be.  Weight may not be as important for a motorcyclist as it is for a backpacker, but my luggage rack can only take so much weight.

Head room is an important consideration, but so is the floor plan.  A person needs to be able to stretch out straight.  Some people sleep on their sides with their arms stretched out.  You need to allow for this.  I have a "wide" mattress: 25" or about 60 cm.  I need the tent to be wider than the mattress so that I can sleep properly, because I cannot not fit my arms comfortably on the mattress.  I find that 160 cm is good enough for two people to sleep side by side without interfering with each other. Never mind those diagrams that "prove" two people can sleep with only 130 cm of space. I can't sleep like that.  And I also like extra space to put my stuff.  So normally, for me and my wife, we would need a 3 person tent. But one exception to that is the MEC Wanderer 2 tent, which I have, and it happens to be as big as other makers' three person tents.  There are exceptions to every rule, I guess.

In 2012, we took our tent out west and ended up in some extremely mosquito infested areas.  I almost wished I had a bigger tent so we could spend all our time inside it.  Once, it was so hot and buggy in the campsite, I simply went for a motorcycle ride, solving both problems at once.

Next summer, we are heading to Newfoundland with the same tent.  I am already searching for campsites next to the ocean and away from trees. Good thing our tent is not much bothered by wind, although it is fairly heavy.  But we will also probably have lots of rain, and that is another area our tent is quite good.  It has no fancy windows, but it has a simple streamlined shape, with aluminum poles and lots of guy wires.  It should hold up to steady 50 kph winds with rain if necessary.  In those conditions, we will not be bothered by too many bugs.  And that's how I like it.

Nice picture: I know it is not in Newfoundland. http://kevinkoski.com/blog/?p=361

A Traveller's Guide to Moral Relativism

You sometimes hear conservatives accuse liberals of "Moral Relativism".  In their accusation, they define "Moral Relativism" as this (according to Conservapedia):

http://www.conservapedia.com/Moral_relativism

Moral relativism is the theory that moral standards vary from society to society, and from time to time in history. Under this theory, ethical principles are not universal and are instead social products. This theory argues that there is no objective moral order or absolute truth.

Moral relativity is a philosophy that states there is no absolute Right or Wrong, and that anyone can freely use his own conscience to decide what is moral. A moral relativist will not say that theft or murder is wrong, because he believes it is up to the murderer or thief to decide whether his behavior is justified.

I don't believe these quotes from Conservapedia represent the views of most conservatives about "moral relativists", and certainly does not represent the views of moral relativists themselves.  There is a lot of BS out there, making it hard to find real information on moral relativism.  I will attempt to do so here.

All through history, people have noticed that there were different cultures with different values, and that each culture regarded the differences between them and the others as an indication of their own superiority. The concept of Moral Relativism has been known for thousands of years.  But it was popularized during the European colonial period. During the colonization period, where European countries attempted to dominate the rest of the world, this feeling of European superiority reached a peak.  I guess that never before had so many different cultures been touched by any other culture.

As this colonization progressed, a few European intellectuals began to deny that Europeans were superior to all other cultures on Earth.

Let me illustrate with one example.  In many Polynesian islands, and in Africa it was quite common for women to go topless.  Now at the same time, in Victorian England, it was scandalous for a woman to show an ankle, and the rumour was that even table legs were forced to cover up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_morality

So, when the missionaries first arrived in Polynesia, they had their hands full trying to convince the local women that their traditional way of life was scandalous.

The intellectuals who discussed cultural differences, theorized the following.  Since, at various times, different cultures had dominated other cultures, and even the method of dress within each culture changed with time, was it possible that there was no absolute definition of scandalous?  Could it simply be that one culture developed in cold climates where clothing was necessary,and other developed in hot places where clothing was neither necessary nor available?  And what about the institution of slavery, which was responsible for producing most of the cotton that made the clothing?  Was that not just as evil/scandalous as seeing a topless woman?

This argument was the core of the colonial era concept of "Moral Relativism".  On one hand you have religious zealots, insisting that their God was superior to all others and hence, their method of dress was also superior.  On the other hand, you have people who insist that there is nothing inherently evil about foreign cultures, and that their methods of dress and even their types of worship were as valid as European ones.

The moral absolutists (opposite of relativists) fought back, saying that many pagans and primitives engaged in cannibalism, which was evil under any circumstances.  I don't know about every nasty rumour started by conservatives or racists, but you can find plenty of evil in non-European societies if you care to look.  But then you can also find plenty of evil in our own society if you know where to look, and if you are allowed to make up stuff that sounds true.

I believe all cultures have their own ways of doing things, that generally make sense to them.  But these values also do evolve slowly with time, with contacting other cultures, and with changing circumstances.  I think some values are absolute, for example when it comes to killing and eating the still beating hearts of the victims, particularly when that victim is me.  But then some cultural norms I think are "morally relative", especially when they harm no-one.

Picture: Historical picture of native women in Hawaii. I found it on   http://1browngirl.blogspot.ca/2009/11/its-free-for-all-friday.html

Further reading: A novel "The Poisonwood Bible" By Barbara Kingsolver, a fictional account of an American missionary in the Congo, but  Barabara lived in the Congo for a while as a child, and so it gives the novel some authenticity.

http://www.kingsolver.com/books/the-poisonwood-bible.html

Biker's Guide to Cobourg, Ontario

Yesterday Mary Ann and I visited Cobourg Ontario. Cobourg is a small town on Lake Ontario.  It has a spectacular old town hall, and a historic district with several buildings that look like they were put up in the 1800's.  It is also on the beach, and even has a campground right on the beach. With all the outdoor cafes, it is my favourite kind of town to visit.  We both went on my Kawasaki Vulcan 900.

In theory, we live only two hours away from Cobourg, but we had never been there before.  That's because Cobourg is on the other (east) side of Toronto.  There is no easy way to get through Toronto, so if I want to just go for a drive and visit some random town, it will be one that is west of Toronto.  After living in Kitchener for 33 years, I know south western Ontario quite well, but south eastern Ontario is unexplored territory. The only way to cross Toronto is either the 401 or the 407. The 401 is up to 12 lanes of insane drivers stuck in senseless traffic jams that go on for miles.  The 407 is a less frantic alternative, but it is toll road, and oddly ends nowhere.

We chose to visit Cobourg because we went to see some people who live there. We also got to see a beach volleyball tournament, and the annual Great Pine Ridge classic car show.  I was amazed by the number of restored cars I had not seen before.  Our hosts had an old Commer camper van entered in the show.  Here is a link to the show, and an entry on Wikipedia for Commer in case you have never heard of this old British manufacturer.

http://acccc.ca/home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=56&Itemid=66

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commer

I didn't have my camera, but there are a lot of great pictures of Cobourg here
http://forum.skyscraperpage.com/showthread.php?t=205642

The weather forecast for the entire day was 50% chance of precipitation, in isolated thunderstorms.  So I brought along my good luck charm against thunderstorms, the smartphone with weather radar on it.  Despite all the wet weather we have had this year, so far I have not driven into a heavy rain storm.  The drive to Cobourg in the morning had no traffic jams, and no rain.  Apparently about half the vintage cars skipped the show because of the threat of rain.  It didn't matter to me, as approximately one hundred cars did show up.  With Mary Ann, who can take or leave old cars, (mostly leave actually), and other things to do like beach volleyball, visiting the marina, and reading historical plaques in downtown Cobourg, the extra cars were not missed.

We left at 8 PM for the ride back to Kitchener.  There were three problems.  It was getting dark, there were isolated rain storms around, and the traffic would be much worse.  In Toronto, we got stuck in a half hour long traffic jam when some rain started.  But we still were reasonably dry, even without putting on our rain outfits.  I guess with the windshield, the clothes I was wearing were kind of water resistant.  When we finally got out of Toronto, I wanted to stop and check the weather radar, but I missed our first opportunity, which is Milton. The next place to check the radar would be Morriston, but before Morriston my luck ran out and went through the middle of a heavy rainstorm.  It is bad to get a lot of rain at night, on a freeway, riding a motorcycle, without proper rain gear on. We were doing all those things. By the time we reached Morriston my boots were filled with water and I was leaving a trail of wet footprints wherever I walked.  The rest of me wasn't too wet, even though I forgot to close the vents on my jacket.  It was cold in Tim Hortons, but warm enough outside on the road.  When I finally checked the radar, the rain had passed, so I zipped up my vents, put on the wet gloves, and was home by midnight.  The gear is still drying out.

It will probably be quite a while before we visit the unknown side of Ontario again. South Eastern Ontario is a great place to go motorcycling, probably a great place to live, but Toronto remains a formidable barrier for us western people.

Picture: A CL16 sailing in front of Cobourg marina.  I saw lots of CL16s at the sailing club. I got the picture here:
http://lucparent.wordpress.com/page/2/

A Day in Toronto

Our nephew, Andrew Moir, had a film he made called "Just as I Remember" showing at the "Hot Docs" film festival in Toronto.  Hot Docs is a festival for documentary films, and although it is smaller than the Toronto International Film Festival (or TIFF), it is still quite a big deal by our standards, showing about 250 documentary films.  A link to the IMDB synopsis of Andrew's film is here:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2212234/

Since December 2011, there has been a commuter train, called the GO train, that runs from Kitchener to Toronto.  We both like rail travel, even though we rarely travel that way in North America. So we decided to try it out.  There are only two trains a day from Kitchener running into Toronto, the last one being 7:07 AM.  Convenient for commuters, not so good for tourists going to a 4:00 PM movie, but .. oh well.  At least we can walk to the train station from our house.  And the train is a double decker, so I imagined the view from the top would be pretty good.  Actually, the upper deck is not really that high, as the lower deck is near the ground.  Also, the tracks do not often run at ground level, so I never got much of a feeling of being up high except when we were next to the station.  But it was fun seeing the back yards of all these houses and businesses on the way in to Toronto.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchener_line

Paying for the train was a learning experience.  As it is a commuter train, apparently they do not have a person selling tickets at the train station. (machines are no good, because we need to ask dumb questions)  So a few days earlier, we went to the Kitchener bus station, where we ended up buying a "Presto Card" pass.  This card is loaded with a certain amount of money, and each time you make a trip, you touch the card to a reader to get on, and then touch it again to get off.  If you forget to touch it getting on, you can be fined, if they catch you.  If you forget to touch getting off, your card will continue to pay for the train that you are no longer on, until the card is worthless.  OK, a little bit scary, but we can handle it.  We loaded up our two cards with exactly the amount of money for a return trip to Toronto.  When we got to the train station, we found out, by watching other people, where the Presto card tapping post was (not on the train, but on the platform!). Then we walked to the place where the front car would be, thinking we would get a good view.  This was a long walk, because the train has ten double decker cars, but because it also has two separate locomotive engines, we could not see to the front, and we couldn't even give the driver advice.

The complications continue.  We needed to return abut 9 PM, but the last train would have already left.  But GO Busses keep running, so the last bus back to Kitchener would be around 11 PM, although we would need a transfer at Mississauga.  Although this setup seemed complicated, we went ahead with the plan.  But then we met another nephew at the film, who offered us a ride home, so our Presto Passes are still left with about $15 each unused on them.  But that money can be used at a later date if we want to go to Toronto again.  (and we probably do.)

It was a misty day in Toronto on April 29, but we never got caught in any rain.  We arrived at Union Station about 9:00 and immediately compromised our health by going to Cinnebon for coffee and one of those things that cinnebon sells.  (I just call it a cinnebon, but I'm sure it has a name).  I always go there on my way to the December motorcycle show, it's a hard habit to break when you smell the cinnebons baking.  Then Mary Ann wanted to see the Skywalk, going from Union Station to the Convention Centre.  Across from the Convention Centre, is the Roundhouse Park.  It is an outdoor museum of trains, and in the actual roundhouse is the Steamwhistle Brewery, with free beer and $10 brewery tours.  Unfortunately they did not open until 12:00, and we had other things to see.  It only took about 20 minutes walking from Union Station to the Entertainment District, where the film was playing later at the TIFF Lightbox Theatre. So to kill more time, we walked about 20 minutes further to see the Kensington Market. Mary Ann likes markets, so this was a good walk, as we also passed through Chinatown on the way to Kensington.

The Kensington Market is not one big market building, it is an area covering several blocks around Kensington Avenue, where there are lots of little businesses. As you turn the corner from Dundas onto Kensington, you are instantly struck by the funkiness of it all.  And actually Dundas is quite funky, too, but in a different way, as it is still Chinatown.  Kensington has graffiti, narrow streets, motorcycles, bicycles and scooters parked everywhere. Many people look like they are either from the fifties, or possible from some alternate post apocalyptic universe.  And this is still early Monday morning.

In the afternoon, we met up with some of Mary Ann's family who had come to see the film.  The theatre was normal size, I don't know why I expected it to be a small screening room.  And surprisingly (to me) it looked about 3/4 full, or maybe more.  Not just family members either.  They mostly went to the Saturday showing, which was sold out.  That's why we had to go Monday. Andrew's film was under 20 minutes, but was being shown together with a longer documentary, so it felt like watching a normal length movie.

So now we are home again, and with our partly used Presto cards, we will find it much easier to plan our next outing to Toronto.

Another Roadside Repair Story: Emile Leray

One of the aspects of motorcycling that I find most fascinating is the possibility of doing roadside repairs to get out of a stranded situation.  Just a few weeks ago, I had a flat tire on the road and had to improvise to get home. Actually, I didn't really do much, as I drove the bike on the flat tire to the nearest gas station. Eight years ago, I got stuck in my Toyota Matrix while off-roading in Baja Mexico, and was rescued by a nearby camper who spotted the plumes of sand the car was kicking up. Recently I found a story that tops everything I have ever known up to now for getting stranded.

Emile Leray gets the award for all time most unbelievable roadside repair.  My only problem is which category to make the award in: motorcycle or car?  Emile's roadside repair started with a broken down car and ended with a motorcycle.

Emile was driving off road through the Sahara Desert, alone, when his 2CV car broke an axle and swing arm.  Apparently he decided that his only chance of survival was to cannibalize the car to build a makeshift motorcycle.  This project took him 12 days, after which he drove the motorcycle back to a main road where he could be arrested and fined for driving an unlicenced vehicle.  (His modifications were too extensive for his original licence plate to be legal - although the plate was affixed to the makeshift motorcycle.)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2168061/French-electrician-stranded-Moroccan-desert-rebuilt-wrecked-car-motorbike-drove-civilisation.html

I have checked this with a few different sources, but although it seems legit, it is so over the top that I am still harboring a suspicion that it might be a hoax.

Picture: OK I'm also surprised that Emile also had the time and/or mental wherewithal to take pictures during this episode.

Bikers Guide to a Part of Toronto

The weather was perfect for a motorcycle trip, and because "The Lost Motorcyclist" has not done a ride to Toronto for a long time, I decided to go down there with the main aim of finding an outdoor patio for lunch, with motorcycle parking right nearby. Ideally, this parking would be at the curb, because in Toronto curbside parking is free for motorcycles.

I decided to wear my half helmet, because it would be better riding in downtown Toronto. And even though it doesn't match the helmet, I wore my lime flourescent green visibility jacket.

It is actually a very short trip to Toronto from Kitchener, if you stick to the 401. But if you go backroads you can take all day. I arrived there about 12:30, after taking a few back-road short cuts along the way, but I arrived on the Gardiner Expressway, which is a raised freeway along the lakeshore coming in to Toronto. I have done this route many times before, but I have never seen so many new tall buildings. You almost can't see the usual skyline any more from the Gardiner.

My chosen exit was Yonge Street, likely the most well known of Toronto's busiest streets. By "busy" I mean with people walking, more than with cars. Streets are far more interesting where pedestrians outnumber cars about 50 to one.

I have never yet found an outdoor restaurant with parking in Toronto, so this time I decided to try something a little different. At Carlton Street (just after Dundas) I made a right turn off Yonge, then a left at Church. Church Street had just what I was looking for. It was not too busy, some motorcycles parked at the curb (leaving place for me to park beside them), and many outdoor patios on both sides of the street. I saw one motorcyclist leaving his parking spot, so I U-turned and backed into the spot next to him. Then I turned around and looked for the right outdoor patio. There were four right beside each other where I was parked, and I decided to take the one closest to me, which was "Just Thai". I would leave my jacket and helmet on the bike, and keep an eye on it from across the sidewalk.

http://www.dine.to/justthai

As I peered inside into the dark, I saw that this restaurant violated two of my most sacred rules for restaurants. One it had cloth napkins. Two, there were no customers. But just as I was removing my sunglasses, I noticed a smiling and friendly waitress, which convinced my I might as well stay and try it out. After all, I had the parking and the outside deck, which was a first.

I sat outside and ordered my meal, and started taking pictures of the streetscape. First I had to wait for two men who were greeting each other over enthusiastically to break it up, so I could take a picture without it looking too gay. Now if you happen to know that this stretch of Church Street is known as the "Gay Village", don't spoil it for the rest of the readers, and remember I've never been here before so I don't know either.

Well, to continue. I got a really nice meal, and a few individuals plus another couple drifted in after me (although I noticed it was all men, and no women). After the meal, I paid and went across the street to take a picture, and I did notice the bar across the street had a rainbow banner hanging in the window, I figured it was a decoration for the Gay Pride parade. And just as I put my camera away, a guy rode by on a purple scooter wearing a purple metallic cape which was billowing out behind. I thought "If that's how you are trying to not look too gay on your scooter, it's not working."

Picture: Just grabbed off the internet.  I did not notice any street signs with rainbow colours, but it's more interesting than the pictures I took.

Bikers Guide to the Brampton Flying Club Open House

Today "The Lost Motorcyclist" visited the Annual Brampton Air Show. Actually, calling it an Air Show might give the wrong impression, because it is different from the well known Air Shows that are staged at the bigger airports all over Canada and the rest of the world.

The first difference is that this is more like a flying museum. Or should I say, like an aircraft museum where the airplanes actually fly. The Brampton Air show is an annual open house event at the Brampton Flying Club. For $5 per person, you can wander through their extensive museum, and also look at airplanes that have flown in for the event from other flying clubs.

The result is an extensive array of World War 1 (and I saw one WW2) air planes. Some are parked on the ground, some are flying, landing and taking off. Some of the planes are scaled down replicas (some are 7/8 or some may 3/4). Most have upgraded engines for flying purposes, meaning a modern Lycoming engine - however many have more authentic looking radial engines. Again, these may be more modern versions, but I was not able to tell exactly what had been done to get these birds to actually fly.

Some of the other interesting points: For $40 you could fly in an open cockpit biplane. There is also an informal antique bike and car show, I saw several interesting bikes - particularly an old Brough Superior. There was a power boat on a trailer that was being fired up, and I didn't get a chance to find out what kind of engine it had, but from the look and sound of the exhaust I'm guessing it was either a rocket or a gas turbine. There was a very small twin engine airplane. Each engine was a one cylinder, two stroke engine. The whole plane looked like an overblown radio controlled model, except that I was told it had a human pilot in the cockpit.

I didn't see this, but I was told that at previous shows they had staged such events as a biplane bombing a vintage motorcycle/sidecar with sacks of flour, while riding/flying across a field. I would not be surprised if it was cancelled because of ever-tightening insurance restrictions on these airshows.

I visited the show on my motorcycle, with a few friends also on motorcycles. Afterwards we went for a motorcycle ride on the very scenic roads near the airfield, including the Forks of the Credit road. That road is only about 10 km, but it has the sharpest corner "The Lost Motorcyclist" has ever seen. I suppose somewhere on Earth, somebody may have figured out how to make a corner sharper than that, but I can't believe they would do it on a regular width paved road, while climbing a fairly steep hill.

Next we went by the Cheltenham Badlands, or "Clay Hills", which looks a lot like the badlands of South Dakota except much smaller.
http://www.ontariotrails.on.ca/trails-a-z/cheltenham-hills/

So that was the end of the motorcycle trip. Except that we still had to drive back to Kitchener. Normally I would just hop on the 401 after a tiring day and get home in the shortest amount of time, but Mary Ann wanted to avoid the boring freeway, so we took about twice as long and were really tired when we got home. But this time at least I didn't get caught in a downpour.

Picture: From the club's website. They apparently had rain that year. We had sunshine all day long, while thunderstorms produced hail and rain to the southwest.
http://www.bramptonflightcentre.com

What We Learn From Traveling Extensively

A few nights ago, I listened to a speaker who was introduced as having "traveled extensively". Very interesting phrase, I thought, and a phrase that I do not think has ever applied to me. It's not that I have never been away from home, but more like I "moved extensively" instead of traveled. And now I realize I have not moved for 19 years since I lived in this house, and before that I lived one block over for another thirteen years. Looks like my days of extensive moving are ended.

But now about the extensive travel. There is something about extensive travel that does not appeal to me, but I could never put my finger on it until I read this blog. "Left Turn at Albuquerque", the entry titled "Europe Eon".

http://www.tracyberna.com/ltaa/?p=177

A quick read through the blog and all my worst nightmares of travel are made real. Waking up at 6:00 AM every morning to get in a bus with a class full of teenagers to see another tourist sight. Being herded around in a group all day long until you are wiped out. It's like having a job, except you don't get paid.

Don't get me wrong, the person who is on the tour actually loved it. But as for me, I would rather go for a walk through Kitchener (25 minutes from my house) than spend two weeks on a tour of Europe like the one described in the blog. You may call it apples and oranges, but objectively, what is the difference between Paris and Kitchener? I have actually talked to people from Paris visiting Kitchener, so it can't be all that bad here. Frankly I don't know what attracted them to Kitchener. They stopped me on the street (many years ago) to ask if I could recommend a good restaurant. Back then, Kitchener didn't have any good restaurants, so I could only suggest they try some other town. I am generally not the most helpful person to ask for directions, because I don't think fast enough respond to the strange questions you often get from tourists. I am more the type of person who would give up and say "You can't get there from here".

The mind can be broadened from travel but often it doesn't happen in the rush. There is a very interesting quote from the author's mother. Upon being told it took 200 years to construct Notre Dame cathedral, she said "How do you care after 200 years?". Exactly the right question. Our present governments (Canada and the USA, I mean) are facing the prospect of climate change and running out of oil over the next 200 years. And really, why are we doing practically nothing? The real truth is because we don't care about anything that goes on for that long. Parisians, many years ago were willing to take 200 years to build a cathedral that none of the designers would ever live to see completed. Today, we are willing to let our entire planet be ruined through our wasteful use of fossil fuels, and climate change, because 200 years is too long for us to even care. There's a lesson in there somewhere, but I don't think it is getting through to most people, even the ones who travel extensively.

You would think that the lesson best learned from visiting Europe might be to appreciate that human civilization was not built in a day, and that one short-sighted generation does not have the right to put an end to it. It is no excuse that 200 years is apparently inconceivable to us. The lesson is there, in every cathedral, in every building dated before 1800 A.D. But was anything learned from this travel experience? I don't think so. Instead they were more concerned about their asses going numb sitting in the bus.

Well so much for the joys of learning from traveling extensively. The author notes, possibly with thinly veiled irony,

"...from the second we landed in our first destination, Paris, every spare second was completely scheduled.) Traveling with this company is about achievement, not appreciation-—you must have completed as many tasks as possible, who cares if you remember them. If you ask me, you want to see more stuff? Come back. Many times. Lots."

When I was 22 years old, I spent a week in Paris pretty much on my own, and simply wandered around the streets whole time. Forty years later, what do I remember? That there were five flights of stairs to my cheap hotel room, and a standing toilet with raised foot islands and a hole in the middle. And I remember asking for coffee and getting "cafe au lait" which I never heard of before. I was corrected a few times for saying things in French with a French Canadian accent. I learned that Parisians are very fussy about the pronunciation of French. I climbed the steps to the first floor of the Eiffel Tower, which was free, but the trap door was closed at the top, so that was disappointing, but at least I got the view. My other most exciting experience was trying to cross the traffic roundabout to get to L'Arc de Triomphe. Afterward I found out there was a safer underground passage.

Picture: Imagine running across all that traffic. I got the pic from this website because you need to see it from high up to appreciate the wonder that I am still alive: http://atourofparis.blogspot.com/2011/02/larc-de-triomphe.html

Short Trips vs. Long Trips

I am wondering if short, local trips can be as interesting as long trips to faraway places. I am going to qualify that as motorcycle trips, because that's the kind of trip I like the best.

It's easy enough to say "it's all in the mind", and you can be just as interested by any place you go, near or far. While that's true enough if you can convince yourself, what does it sound like to other people you talk to in everyday life?

I like to hear about travel stories, and I like telling my own stories when the opportunity arises. I have found a few websites on the internet that have collections of motorcycle adventure stories, such www.Advrider.com. I can spend quite a bit of time reading through these stories, even though they are typically amateur efforts with no professional editing (like a published book or magazine might have). I also have to wade through quite a bit of back and forth commentary by other forum members, and although that's not too bad by itself, some people repeatedly repost the same pictures and text along with their replies, and sometimes have very little to add to what has been said (except for their long rambling signatures that tend to resemble the Gettysburg Address.) After a while you sometimes feel like it's hard slogging to follow the original story.

I don't mind telling my own motorcycle travel stories. Occasionally I find a person who has some interest. But most of the time it's not something other people are interested in, even for other motorcyclists. Travel is a broad topic, and most people are not that interested in adventure travel. I think it usually comes down to "Where are you planning to go, or where have you been recently?", to which you name the country or whatever, and the other person says "Been there, nice place." (or) "Need to go there." (or, more rarely) "My God why would you ever go there???", and the conversation is over.

I'll admit I am a bit like that myself. I like to hear stories especially about places I would like to go, or have been to. I prefer to hear about places further away or more difficult to get to. Although I have a little more patience than the average in hearing details about the trip, I also sometimes find travel stories a bit boring.

While most people are probably not interested in how you hacked your way through the Darien Gap, I can assure you there are even fewer who want to hear about your trip to Simcoe, Ontario. Well, not just Simcoe, any place less than 1000 km away is thought to be unworthy of telling about. So in that way, local trips will never be as inherently interesting as longer trips, barring some kind of amazing event, like being abducted by aliens in Burford. The fact that Tim Hortons' in Port Dover has a new kind of donut will bring only the slightest spark of interest, probably feigned anyway. Even if you are the most amazing, hypnotic, mesmerizing story teller.

But putting aside the patronizing attitudes toward your adventurous ride to Port Dover, can you have an experience similar to riding on the Baja Peninsula of Mexico? In Mexico, the flora and fauna will be different, the climate will be different, the language will be different, let's face it, a lot of differences except the sun and moon in the sky and the level of oxygen in the air you breathe.

But do many people pay any attention to the different birds and plants? There are birds right here in Ontario that are pretty amazing, if you happen to spot them. Granted, most people can tell a saguaro cactus or a palm tree from a pine or maple. Other than that, knowledge is a bit thin.

What about landmarks like the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty? Mostly I just look at them and try to take a picture like the ones in the post card, except with me in it. Increasingly this is possible in Photoshop without ever visiting the places.

What a lot of people really like about travelling, if they would admit it, is not having to prepare meals (Obviously I'm not talking about campers and motor homers.) And the excuse to do something stupid: "I need to do this, because I'm on vacation!". Well there, I can assure you that you don't need to leave the country to go to restaurants, even Mexican ones, or to do something stupid. Although, if you desperately wanted to stick your arm in a shark's mouth, you may have to go south for that experience. And if you do end up in jail, you can't beat Canada for a warm, welcoming experience.

Picture: That's my Honda CD175 "Every ride's an adventure", in Ontario last summer with some weird giant grass beside the road. And that's also a Honda CD175 forty years ago in Sierra Leone with some weird giant grass beside the road.

A Visit to Ilderton, Ontario and my Country Music Theory

By The Lost Motorcyclist, February 2011

Last night Mary Ann and I went to a St. Valentine's dance out in the country. It took place at the Community Centre in Ilderton, Ontario, about a ninety minute drive. On the way there, Mary Ann and I were discussing how we don't have passports so we are not travelling the world like all out friends seem to be doing. We made up our minds to enjoy our visit to Ilderton by pretending it was some place as far away from Canada as possible. (which is not easy) And because we were a bit early, we had 45 minutes to do it before the Valentine dance started.

Ilderton is a crossroads town. On the way into town, we saw a sign "The home of world and Olympic ice dance champions, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir". After we went through the town we noticed another one on the west side. Mary Ann guessed there might be one on the north and south sides also, so we drove around until we had seen all four signs. Then we spotted the King Edward Pub and Restaurant in the middle of town, so we stopped for a beer. It's an old looking place, and it was just about full. We went to the bar and Mary Ann ordered "Dead Elephant" beer from St. Thomas Ontario. St. Thomas is famous as the place that killed the Ringling Brothers' Jumbo the elephant. The guy sitting next to me at the bar wore a Toronto Maple Leafs' toque and Maple Leafs' shirt, and the hockey game was about to start on TV, so I asked him if he was a Maple Leafs' fan, and when he admitted it, I told him this joke. "How are the Leafs like the Titanic?" "They are both OK till they hit the ice." Luckily he found that funny. Mary Ann struck up a conversation with a waitress about the King Edward Pub, and she mentioned the rumour that a Tim Horton's may be coming to town, and that would kill their business. I asked why, and she said because they have faster service. I asked if the service in the King Edward was slow, and she said no, but it wasn't like fast food because they had to prepare it first. Then Mary Ann asked the waitress where she got the Tim Horton's coffee she was drinking at the moment? She said it came from London, because she wasn't allowed to drink beer on the job. They did have a coffee maker right behind her, but she said it wasn't as good. Before we knew it, it was time for our Valentine dinner dance, and we had to leave, but we will come back by motorcycle this summer and try some wings. Mention in Lord of the Wings Blog

It's been about 15 years since I went to a dance, so I'm no expert on current music. But as an outside observer I have some comments.

I only listen to oldies on the radio, so unless I go to a dance, I don't find out what other people like these days. So in that way, it was easy to imagine we were visiting a different country. After supper, the dancing started, and the music was played very loud by a DJ, so far that was about the same as the Canada I remember. Every once in a while I could hear some of the lyrics from a song I recognized, but almost all were done by different artists. For example, one song was Tutti-Frutti, which was an oldie already by the time I began to listen to music. I also recognized "You make me Wanna Shout", again a new version.

Being out in the country, it is only natural that there should be quite a bit of country music. Some of it sounded like heavy metal, but the occasional words I could make out like "I got on my horse" or "I was born in the country" gave it away. For me, country music is more defined by the words than anything else. Just to give an idea of the typical country music words or titles here are a few.

You Done Stomped on My Heart and You Mashed that Sucker Flat (Mason Williams)
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away (Dan Hicks)
They Call me Cleopatra, 'cos I'm the Queen of Denial (Pam Tillis)
My Tears Have Washed 'I Love You' From the Blackboard of My Heart
Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life (Bobby Bare)
If I'd Shot Her When I Met Her I'd Be Out of Jail by Now. (Diesel Doug & the Long Haul Truckers)
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger (Crow Carroll)

Admittedly they didn't play all of those at our dinner dance, but it's a general idea. Country music is about cheatin' hearts, pickup trucks, guns, dogs, America, and bibles. They like metaphors and word play. Country music also has a costume and specific dances, but at Ilderton nobody had a cowboy hat and nobody did any line dancing. So I guess it was not a hard core country crowd like you might find in Texas.

But here we come to the opposite of country music, a song by the Canadian group "Barenaked Ladies" who are neither barenaked or ladies, that's just an example of their use of Canadian humour. The song is called "The History of Everything" which already tells you this is not going to be about just about cheatin' hearts and pickup trucks. The words start off:

The whole universe was in a hot dense state (obviously way before Columbus discovered America)
But then 14 billion years ago expansion started, wait.
The Earth began to cool
The Autotropes began to drool (an autotrope is not a pickup truck or a dog)
Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall, we built the pyramids.
Math, science, history (OK now I think we're starting to get the idea this is not a country song)
Unravelling the mystery
That all started with the big bang. (Not a gun bang, the Big Bang is a theory of the origin of the universe that is not mentioned in the Bible)

Anyway, it was nice to go to a dance out in the country. People had a good time dancing and dining, and nobody got shot or stabbed.

First pic: What the King Edward looked like in summer. Right now it's piled high with snow, and no flowers.

Second Picture: Cover of the album "Mistakes Were Made" by Diesel Doug and the Long Haul Truckers
http://www.amazon.com/Shot-Her-When-Met-Jail/dp/B0012ACFUU

Bikers Guide: Kitchener to Port Dover

In honour of the next Friday 13th (May 2011), this is my Biker's Guide for the trip from Kitchener to Port Dover, a distance of 87.8 km. I am very familiar with this road, due to the fact that I go there a lot in the summer with my motorcycles. Map here.

This is not a twisty road, so you won't be needing any road race equipment. Likewise, speeds are never over 110 kph, there are no places where you are alone without traffic or police cars patrolling. I guess everybody in southern Ontario knows what I'm talking about since the whole southern part of the province is kind of like that.

So let's start from the corner of Homer Watson and Sterling In Kitchener. This is at Lakeside Park, and if Lakeside Park had not been the centre of a big fight over road right of way in the sixties, Homer Watson would have continued on right into the heart of Kitchener, but it didn't. So the plan is to go more or less the length of Homer Watson, a big multi-lane road with traffic lights and Tim Horton's all the way along. Although it's really not much fun, you will find the traffic does at least move quite quickly, never over 90 kph, but it's a bit of a struggle when I take my Honda 175 with only 15 horsepower. But normally I have my Vulcan 900 Classic.

At the other end of Homer Watson, you have the 401, and just before that is a Petro Canada station, next to a Tim Horton's, next to a McDonald's. Pretty much heaven on earth. And if you turn right at the Petro Canada, you will come to New Dundee Road, which runs west, right beside the 401 for a few kilometers. You need to make a left onto Reichert Dr, which is immediately after Robert Ferris Drive. Now you can go through a bit of nice forest where hopefully you will not hit a deer, and continue down to a fast right hand sweeper, then another right hand sweeper (about 40 kph slower than the last one) then a really sharp curve to the left (under 50) with a stop sign as you come around the corner. This is where you turn left.

You will follow this road over the 401 and turn right at the next junction on Dumfries road. Not only do you have a lot of trucks coming in and out here, but the Police Association has a compound, and there is an extremely rough railway crossing. This is not the most pleasant part of the road, but let's keep a positive attitude. No traffic lights!!!

Well no traffic lights until you cross Cedar Creek Road, a couple of kilometers south of of the tracks. But something nice is coming up, and you want to be sure you are not following a granny in a station wagon before you get to the next nice curve, the downhill s-bend before Wrigley's Corners. Luckily there is a good long passing area just before it. Although I think the sign recommends 50, this curve is often taken by trucks at 100 kph.

Soon after the curves, turn left at the stop sign, then right at the next stop sign and you will be on Highway 24A to Paris. Actually a nice piece of road if the pavement was not upheaved by frost most of the time. Slightly curving, through forests, but slow with a double yellow no-passing zone most of the way. And every 10 metres, another lurch as the motorcycle crosses a frost heave.

Paris Ontario is next, a really pretty town built right on the Grand River. Many restaurants have little decks out the back that overlook the river. The river is just to the east of the main road (on your left). Apparently Paris is named after a plaster of paris factory, and not after Paris, France. So you will not see very much fake French culture staged by the Chamber of Commerce to entice the tourists. A very wise move. And every June, Paris hosts the Canadian Vintage Motorcycle rally, and event I try to never miss.

There are a couple of pedestrian crosswalks to watch out for, and then as you come up the hill on the other side of town, begin signalling a right turn immediately, even though you have no clue where you are going. That's what the sign says to do. So curve to the right, then soon after, you will have another very sharp uphill merge to the right onto highway 2. This hill climbs rapidly with a passing lane and a fairly sharp 50 kph curve in the middle, then a flashing light and a 40 kph school zone at the top that is often a radar trap on school days when the kids are milling about. Half way up, there is a pullout to the right where you can park and look down at the town of Paris if you like.

Finally when you are past all the kooky signs and traffic situations in Paris, you come to the Pioneer gas station, where I often stop because it has pay-at-the-pump, my favourite splash 'n dash place. I hate taking off my helmet to walk inside and line up behind people buying lottery tickets to pay for gas. Instead I just use my credit card at the pump and remember to take my receipt just in case.

As soon as you come out of the Pioneer Gas Pumps, Rest Acres Road is on the left, and that goes down to Simcoe and Port Dover. You will pass a third Paris Tim Hortons that is opening soon, just before you leave town, it will probably end up being a good motorcycle stopping place, just like the other two in Paris.

Now you finally have a bit of plain road, all the way through past Simcoe there is no more confusion. But there is a big problem with police patrols, and lines of cars travelling together. If you follow one of these lines, for sure somebody is going to stop at a side street and everybody comes to a sudden stop in the middle of nowhere. It is a bad place to be looking at the scenery. Good thing there is none. Simcoe is big enough to have traffic lights, so you might have to stop four or five times before you get out the other side.

Once you get past Simcoe, look for the sign for Port Dover to the left. That will be highway 6, and follow it down to the bottom of the hill in Port Dover just before the BB Gas Bar, where you get all the hot dog places and beach shops. The Tim Horton's is on the left, and the still vacant Rossi's restaurant next door is a great place to park a motorcycle. You should have lots of company there. From here you can walk to the beach, to restaurants, to boat cruises, and of course to Tim Horton's. In the summer time, there are deluxe porta potties, and public toilets are open. That's probably why so many people enjoy coming here. Also, to the east and the west are scenic roads following the lake Erie shore.

Picture: My bike at the pier in Port Dover, October 2009. The sleeping bag on the back seat is only there as a backrest. I bought a studded leather roll pack at the motorcycle show to replace it, just for the looks.

Is Canada Really a Better Name Brand than the U.S.A.?

A story came out today about how Canada has edged out the USA for top spot in a tourist brand survey. I'm sure that gets all us Canadians feeling good about ourselves. But let's look into this a little further, and find out why we got to first place before we take a victory lap.

Apparently the people who responded to the survey had not heard of some of the juiciest stories in the Canadian news recently. The story of the Ku Klux Klan guy at the Canadian Legion stayed home in Canada. So in the end it was a good strategy not to charge him with a crime.

Another story that didn't get out was the cross burning on the lawn of an interracial couple. Apparently the perpetrator was not in the KKK and he meant nothing by it, he just thought it was a funny thing to do. That's good for him, it'll give him a lot to laugh about while serving time in prison.

Colonel Russell Williams, of the Canadian Forces, raping and killing women near his home base, in Ontario Canada. That story didn't get out either.

We were lucky that the Canadian stories which did make it big world wide were the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, polar bear watching expeditions, and wine tasting tours. (free wine is very appealing). The polar bear story was so viral that any web sites featuring polar bear videos crashed from heavy traffic.

But all the free wine and polars bears together cannot explain how we ousted the USA from the number one spot. Americans are in shock, how could they lose such an important competition? According to USA today, it has nothing to do with people getting strip searched and X-ray photographed as they board planes to the USA. No, that couldn't be it. So according to Jayne Clarke, of USA Today, it's because "Obama has not delivered on his promises".

Daniel Rosentreter, FutureBrand's chief strategy office is quoted as saying "What we've seen this year is the shine may be off. Obama hasn't delivered what the world expected."

Excuse me, what was the world expecting again? OK I remember now. 1. "Don't bomb Iran", and Obama delivered. 2. "Save the world from total economic meltdown caused by the Republicans". Obama delivered. 3. Don't be an as*h*le. Obama delivered.

So, Jayne and Daniel, I don't think the USA brand is sinking because of Obama. It is more likely sinking because even with Obama as president, the rest of the word knows that the people of the USA are still pretty much the same as they were under Bush. And far from looking better under Obama, the Conservatives in the USA look like they are borderline insane. Not very appealing, and not surprising that the USA brand slipped to fourth place.

Biker's Guide to Long Point

Several weeks ago I was in Port Dover, talking to another biker I met about nice roads in the local area. He said that he never missed going down to the end of the road at Long Point. In a previous blog, I mentioned that I always skipped that section of road as it is a dead end. So last week I decided to take a look for myself.

I first drove to Port Dover, that's because I usually need a lunch stop by the time I get there. And I correctly assumed that Long Point would not have a Tim's, and actually not much of anything else open either, in the middle of the week. The road to Long Point does not actually go to the end of the point, which is about 30 km long starting from the bridge. The road only goes about 4 km down the peninsula, and stops when you get to the provincial park gate. I suppose that some kind of road continues inside the park, but I didn't check it out. But most of the peninsula seems to be accessed by boat only. Long Point Provincial Park has a boat launch and docking area.

Starting from the gas station at the intersection of 59 (Long Point Road) and 42 (Front Road), you can drive about 8 km to the gate of the Provincial Park. At first, you travel straight south, passing the Big Creek National Wildlife Area on the right, and some marinas on the left. Then you get to a sharp bend in the road with a restaurant or convenience store (not sure which), and soon you are on Erie Blvd, the narrower part of the peninsula. There is a bridge here, so Long Point itself may be an island as much as it is a peninsula. I guess this is typical of these points of land that are constantly built up and eroded by wave action.

Once on Erie Blvd, you pass through the village of Long Point, which is mostly cottages. I made a short turn off to 4th Ave, went down to Boathouse Lane and returned to the main road by 1st Ave. Then back on Erie Ave, I noticed there were many signposted "Public Access" points to the wide beach on the Lake Erie side. Unfortunately, most of those access points are marked "NO PARKING Pick-up and drop off only" The only public parking nearby would be the sections of shoulder of Erie Blvd, that are marked Parking and widened with gravel. The parking is a bit removed from the beach, but at least it is free. One public access point had it's own parking lot, on Abigail Becker road, across from Buddy's snack shop. I couldn't find Abigail Becker road on Google maps, so maybe it's a new road. But I did find a mention of the historical Abigail Becker in Wikipedia

I parked my bike in the lot on Abigail Becker's. It's a sandy lot, but my bike has a big enough pad on the sidestand to prevent it from sinking in. Too bad Buddy's was was not open, but it had a sign promising "Open Weekends". The wind was kicking up sand, and making ripples on the beach trail, and several parachute surfers were having fun skimming and jumping the whitecaps along the brown water of Lake Erie. This part of the point has some moderate sized dunes built up, and covered with vegetation in places.

Recently, I got a comment about ownership of beaches, so in light of that I will digress to that controversial topic. The beach at Long Point appeared to be public property despite the row of cottages right along the water. However my research on the Internet indicated that in Ontario, Canada, in the Great Lakes region, waterfront property usually goes down to the "Low Water" mark. This is quite different from normal world wide standards for tidal ocean property, where the High Water mark is the normal boundary. In Canada the ocean beaches are crown land. There is still a controversy about the ownership of the beaches in Ontario, because the general public (and even most cottagers) like to be able to at least walk along the beach without encountering "Private Property Keep Off" signs everywhere, with fences running down to the water. But I think I see a good aspect of this custom. On tidal ocean beaches, the beach is cleaned twice a day when the tide comes in, and washes away all litter, dog crap etc., and not only that, will destroy any tent sites, barbecue pits, and float away any parked cars, motor homes or or trailers. Not so on the great lakes beaches, where there is no regular tide. So it may be better that the cottagers own the beaches, and take some responsibility for keeping them clean. Most cottagers are reasonable about the use of the beach (i.e. no fences, no threats, no Doberman dogs), and most beach goers are similarly well behaved. But obviously there are exceptions on both sides, and it is a very different situation from ocean front beaches.

Picture: From this website http://www.out-there.com/lands/lg_pt.htm

Dealing with Language Barriers

Language barriers are really not that bad when travelling. Maybe for me it is second nature, as I grew up with language barriers, and after that, I also spent three years in Africa. Many North Americans have almost no experience dealing with language barriers, as this part of the world has adopted unilingual English to a remarkable degree. But there are strategies to help get through language barriers, just as there are some approaches that seem to make things worse.

It is useful to be aware that some languages are relatively similar. Many Americans and English Canadians tend to lump all foreign languages together, as if it was just as difficult for us to understand French as Chinese. No, that is not true, and with experience, you would find that some languages are really different, others are closer to English and therefore easier to figure out. Also some places are more touristy, and therefore you will have less trouble with a foreign language. As my African high school students remarked to me, (who spoke about 4 languages minimum) they did not really consider French and English different enough to count as two languages. There were 14 native languages in Sierra Leone, a country the size of Southern Ontario, and most of them were not from the same linguistic origin.

I am not trying to suggest you need to be fluent in a language to travel. There are several tips and techniques that work very well, especially in relatively close languages, where tourism is normal.

At the very least, try to learn a few words. Language instructors may not like me letting you in on this secret, but "Hello", and "thank you" are the top two words to know. Probably followed by "Excuse me", "sorry" and "where is the bathroom". If I'm in a language course where I'm being taught "Bellboy, take my bags up to the room, and hurry" then I'm in the wrong course.

Think. All too often, people take their brain offline because they are not confident they will ever figure it out. Consider it like a game, a mystery, a puzzle to solve. Look at all the clues, pay attention to gestures, facial expressions, if possible try to recognize words. Even in Pashtun, I'll bet you hear the occasional English expression. In Timne, the local tribal language in Sierra Leone, one phrase that popped up often enough at school was "Waste time". Anyway, you do need to think more clearly then usual when you are faced with a language barrier.

Try to talk to the right people. With some experience, you will eventually know how to find people who can answer questions, and who it may be best to stay away from. I'm not sure I can help specifically, but I know choosing the right person can make or break the communications. Here is an example. An Internet Cafe in Baja, California. There is no @ sign on your keyboard, because it is a Spanish keyboard. You need help, who to ask, and what do you say? Well don't do what I did and go up to the guy at the front desk and say "Hoy!" thinking it means the same as "Hi!". Hoy actually means "Right now!". "Ola" is hello. A mental lapse on my part. But at least the guy at the desk is going to be a little more understanding than if you blurt this out to someone hard at work typing on another computer somewhere across the room.

Even with a skeleton vocabulary, try to be mindful of what you are saying. If you don't understand the language, it works better to say "Ola" rather than "Como esta", because although both are basically a greeting, "como esta?" is a question (How are you?) that kind of asks for a response, and since you may not be able to understand the response, why ask it in the first place. Of course in real life the interchange usually works itself out, as the other person can usually figure out that you are just a tourist, and you really don't want to know the details of his latest hernia operation. It also might be nice to know the ritual response to "Como esta", which (I think) "Muy bien", because sometimes people may greet you this way.

At any rate, it is obviously not always possible to learn an entire language from scratch for a two-week vacation.

Now here in Canada, the main language "problem" is English and French. Neither the English nor the French see any compelling reason why they must learn the other language, unless they are forced to to get a job (like Prime Minister of the country). But because of our history, a large number of Canadians can speak or understand to some degree the other official language. And, typically, people who are not perfectly bilingual, can understand the other language much better than they speak it. I don't have a full physiological explanation of why this might be, but it is easy to temporarily lose your speaking ability within a year, while your comprehension will last dozens of years without practice.

Up to now I have been considering mainly someone who truly does not understand the language, like me and Spanish.
How are things different when you can understand, but are a bit shy or too tongue tied to speak the other language? Well obviously one problem might be that the other people may think you are just being rude by not speaking when you can obviously understand. I know for sure many English Canadians think this way about French Canadians. I'm sure it is also true in reverse. And in either case, it seems quite easy for, say a French person to be offended when and English person who understands French will not speak in French, and yet at the same time this same French person may have a perfectly good reason why he himself does not need to speak speak English, even though he may understand it pretty well. This double standard is exhibited frequently with both English and French speakers.

When you actually understand the other language, you really must make an extra effort to speak at least the basic words. Again, you don't have to be perfect, but use common sense at all times, pay attention, and keep thinking.

Try to be brief. Reduce what you are saying to what is needed, and no more. Don't bother to launch into an explanation of why you do not speak the language so well, or how slowly they must speak for you to understand them. It wastes time, it causes more misunderstandings. Just say what you need to say, in the other language if you can, if not switch to plain English. I assure you, they will figure out that you do not speak the language, and eventually they will also figure out how slowly they need to speak to you.

Communicate with the aid of hand gestures, or props. For example, buying a fuse for the motorcycle, take the burnt out fuse with you. If your gear shift lever is broken off, take the broken bit with you if at all possible. Pointing helps if you are asking or giving directions. Hand signs are pretty universal, for example, pretending to write on your palm is the international hand sign for "give me the check, please".

Be aware of what emotions are showing on your face. Smile. It works in all languages. Sometimes other facial expressions are called for. This may be important when you are unable to say things like "I am sorry that I'm dripping water all over your new hardwood floor". And even more important when you obviously understand the language, and yet for some reason cannot articulate the word "sorry".

Try to not harbour any negative stereotypes. For example, when a policeman in Mexico asks you how expensive your motorcycle was, don't immediately jump to the conclusion that he is fishing for a bribe. Maybe it is just a natural thing to be fascinated by expensive stuff that would cost them five years salary to buy.

Do not use shouting as a way to overcome a language barrier. And, of course no fist shaking or gun waving.

Do not bother to tell people that you are Canadian. It is irrelevant information, for one thing. I memorized the phrase "Soy Canadense" for when I went to Mexico, and used it on the first waitress I encountered at a restaurant. She gave me a blank stare, so I assumed she could not understand either Spanish or English. Actually, it turned out she understood both, but apparently didn't have a good response to this statement, although maybe she was thinking up some. And in another vein, do not say "Me Canadian, you ????" in a typical Tarzan and Jane movie dialogue.

Get your brain in gear, think of the context, predict what is going to happen. For example, you and two friends walk into a restaurant, a waitress meets you at the door, she probably will ask you "table for three?", it does not matter what the language is. Just nod and follow her to the table, or hold up three fingers. Much better than asking her if she speaks English, or asking her to get an English speaking person for you. Same thing at a military checkpoint. They usually ask the same question, "where are you coming from and where are you heading?" I give them the name of the place I stayed last night, and where I think I may stay tonight. I don't get into anything more complicated, I don't worry too much about exactly what they are saying. One time I got "going to" and "coming from" backwards, and the soldier at the gate looked puzzled and motioned to his commanding officer. He just called back "Inglese?" the soldier nodded, and the officer waved me on. Yes, they can figure stuff out pretty fast. Much much better (and less waiting) than asking people to either speak English or find someone else who can speak English.

Learn the road signs! In Mexico "Curva Peligroso" (hey I still remember that after four years!) means dangerous curve. So then logically, pretty much anything followed by peligroso means "stop text messaging right now!". While it would be helpful to really know what that other peligroso thing might be, don't be looking it up in the phrase book while driving. I might as well mention Vado Peligroso, because it officially means a "dip" in the road, but in Mexico it really means you are crossing a dry river bed. The first five times, you may not even know what the danger is supposed to be, but here are some you will eventually see: Donkey/Cow in the road, hidden in the dip. Road completely under water. Road recently under water, and masses of melon sized rocks are strewn right over the pavement.

http://www.ontheroadin.com/mexican_road_sign_translations_f.htm

And just as importantly, learn that there are no signs at all for some really horrendous stuff, such as half the road was washed way three days ago, or a truck is lying upside down across the entire road (that would probably be in the last five minutes, just judging from how fast the tires are still spinning.)

Sometimes a considerable language barrier exists even in English. Both these incidents happened at the same McDonald's breakfast stop during a motorcycle trip through rural Kentucky (i.e. off the interstate). I went to the counter to order the big breakfast. I really could not understand a word the girl at the cash register said. But she understood "big breakfast and coffee" just fine. When it came out she said "That'll be three thousand dollars". Those were the first words I actually understood! And they were not good. I must have gone blank. Then she laughed and said "I'm joking!" and told me the right price. Actually quite funny, if I had not just got off my motorcycle, and my brain had been given its first coffee yet. Then, sitting down to eat my breakfast a young man came over to my table and launched into a monologue, of which I did not understand one single word. He paused for a bit, while I looked at him. He said "You're not from around here are you?" Finally something I understood. I said "No." He went away, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

In the end, the thing I miss most when there is no language barrier is all the fun you can have when both speak the same language, like I can in Southern Ontario. My two favourites, one when a person is walking a dog, I ask "does your dog bite?" They say "No she's real friendly etc. etc." Then just as I reach down, I stop and say "Is this your dog?" Cracks me up every time. Next, when ordering a "foot long hot dog", (Canada has been a metric country since the early seventies), I ask "how big is is it?". The younger cashiers really struggle with that. I bet some of them don't even know how long a "foot" is, or that it used to be a unit of measure, and not something at the end of your leg

Picture: a military checkpoint. What can you figure out without knowing the words?