January Motorcycle Ride

One advantage to living in the south of Canada, is that you can go for a motorcycle ride in almost any month of the year. I'm not saying it's easy, because you don't get many days to choose from, and you need to be almost ready to go any day. Of course you dress warm, and be careful of your route, and a hundred other things. But that is all stuff you might be forced to do in the summer if you live further north, where I did before moving down to sunny Kitchener in 1979.

Today it was possible to go for my January ride. I already did December, that one was actually pretty easy. January is often the month with fewest choices of good days. Today the roads had mostly dried up, we have not had a lot of snow this year, it was sunny and -1c.

When there is a chance for a lot of snow beside the road, it's best ride just below freezing, (-2c). When it's warmer, the melting snow creates pools  of salty meltwater on the roads. It's not dangerous, but it's corrosive.

This January ride has split the winter right down the middle. I prefer two short winters to one long one.

The biggest difficulty today was opening the garage and getting the bike turned around. I don't have a snowblower, and I don't keep the driveway down to bare bricks just for fun. The only problem with that is if we get an unexpected nice day, the ice makes it difficult to get the bike out of the garage (which you can see is behind the house in the picture) and down to the street. I couldn't get the (hinged) garage doors open without chipping ice away, and that took about ten minutes. Then I couldn't turn the bike around because there was a big lump of ice in the turning area that I could not back the bike up over. So more chipping the ice, then edging the bike back and forth until I had it turned enough to be able to use the engine. Once almost slipped when I put my foot on an icy patch. Coming back in was easy after the ride.

The bike fired right up, as I expected. It's great to have fuel injection that works.  I was surprised to find the bike very comfortable, both the seat and the handlebars. The rear spring was actually softer than I remembered it from December.  Time plays tricks with the memory. 

As soon as I got on the road, I noticed that gas would be needed so I went to Petro Canada, where the pump had a sign on it "Winter Gas" I'm not sure that's what I really want, but fill up anyway. Then out on to the 401 for a high speed blast, with the heated vest plugged in.

There was not much traffic as I headed to New Dundee, where there is a motorcycle accessories shop named Vicious Cycle. I found out about them at the Toronto motorcycle show last week, so it seemed like a good destination for my ride today, and there was "motorcycle only parking" in front. They have a Kawasaki KLR 650 fully loaded with accessories that you can see in their shop and order those accessories. That's a good idea. Normally it's confusing trying to order universal accessories from a catalog without seeing them on a bike. The place was a lot bigger than I thought it would be, and they have a website.

There weren't any customers in the shop, but the people there were still amazingly busy, although the same person I met at the show talked to me for a while about the accessories on the KLR650, including the Trax aluminum luggage cases.

I got home before the sun went down, and I only hit one spot where some snow had drifted on the road a little. I don't think the bike got much dirt on it, I hate getting salt on the bike in winter, although it's not really a safety issue.

Picture: Putting the bike away for another month?

How (and why) to Make a Pat Robertson Voodoo Doll

Before making your own voodoo doll of Pat Robertson, you need to know why. Just after the earthquake struck Haiti last week, Pat Robertson went on Television to announce that the earthquake, and general poverty of Haiti was a result of the Haitians making a pact with the devil. Soon after, a "Pat Robertson" Voodoo doll appeared on eBay, but was quickly taken off, I assume by Pat Robertson supporters, who were apparently scared of the voodoo curse that the owner of such a doll could put on their boss. But if you can't buy a Pat Robertson doll on eBay, you can still throw a voodoo curse on Pat Robertson by making your own doll at home.

The first step in making a voodoo doll is to get a piece of Pat Robertson to put in a doll (any doll, but a G.I. Joe would be good). Traditionally this would be a hair, a toenail clipping, etc. Even if you are Pat's bodyguard or mistress, you may have trouble getting hair from under the wig which he keeps on at all times. But you don't actually need a physical piece of him. Just print out this blog, which explains a bit of his history, and roll it up, remove the doll's head and shove the paper down the neck. Put the head back on, and you're ready to begin sticking the doll with pins.

Pat Robertson's Pact with the Devil, True Story

Pat Robertson, back in the eighties, wanted to make a little money for himself, and thought a diamond mine in Africa would be a good idea. The country of Liberia, in West Africa is a significant diamond exporting country, and so Pat Robertson looked for a partner in Liberia who could run a diamond mine and share the profits. He somehow became friends with Charles Taylor, a powerful Liberian warlord who was also a "Born Again Christian". Pat Robertson decided that he could trust this man, and gave him seven million dollars in return for a promise of a share of the profits of the mining operation.

Pat Robertson is not in the habit of checking into details too carefully, as you can tell by his poorly researched "true story" about the Haitian Pact with the Devil. If he had done some research on Liberia, he would have found out that even though Liberia is a significant diamond exporting country, they have no rich diamond deposits. Most of the diamonds exported by Liberia are illegally smuggled into the country from neighbouring Sierra Leone. The reason that smugglers go to Liberia, is because it is against the law in Sierra Leone to possess, let alone export, diamonds that have not been mined legally. No such such law exists in Liberia, because they have no history of profitable diamond mining, but have made fortunes from Sierra Leone's diamonds. Today, it is illegal for any diamond cutting firm to buy diamonds that are not documented. But back in the 1990's no such international law existed, and so Liberia continued to export diamonds smuggled from Sierra Leone.

Once Charles Taylor had the money from Pat Robertson he knew that the only way to set up a diamond mine would be across the border in Sierra Leone, which was not possible for him to do legally. He hatched a diabolical plan to send a group of his thugs across the border to clear the civilians out of the diamond area, and create enough mayhem for the Sierra Leone government that he could go ahead with digging up the diamonds without a permit.

The plan was first to clear out the civilian population through terror, and make them flee into the cities far from the diamond fields. While Taylor had enough money (Pat's 7 million would go a long way in Africa), he did not have enough men to carry out the plan. So he decided to recruit young boys in Sierra Leone to form an army.

Charles Taylor's small but well funded band of thugs entered Sierra Leone with the strategy of forming an army of children to fight their own people, and drive the civilians out of the diamond area. The tactic they used was brilliant, though unfortunately it was also a war crime. But back in those days, no evil dictators feared any international court, and Charles was the dictator of Liberia.

The tactic was to go into a village, and round up boys about 10 to 14 years old as their recruits. Most villages in Sierra Leone are totally unarmed, so a couple of men (or even children) with AK47's can easily take over a village. They then lined up the villagers, and forced their new recruits to chop the hands off one by one. Psychologically this was devastating, as fathers and mothers had their hands cut off by their young sons. Usually after most of the hands were cut off, and the soldiers had left with their kidnapped recruits, the entire village would be abandoned. And with each new village, Taylor's small band had a new bunch of recruits that they began to turn into "child soldiers". This training process involved the use of cocaine, beating and torture, usually carried out by the children on each other, with the help of the drugs. Also the children were told they were fighting for Jesus against the evil Sierra Leone government, and that they were on the side of God. With a combination of psychological methods, they could get the children to carry out these village operations almost with no supervision. So the tactic proved effective. The Sierra Leone police and army found themselves faced with an army of drugged up children who were heavily armed, and fearless. Plus, of course some men who were persuaded that this rebellion was an easy way to power and wealth. Millions of people fled, not only the diamond country, but Sierra Leone itself.

The rebellion was actually too successful, it spread right into the capital city of Freetown. The reason I say too successful, is that Taylor did not want to "take over" Sierra Leone, he just wanted the country in chaos so that he could continue to smuggle out the diamonds. But with the success of the rebellion, came a UN team to negotiate a peace settlement.

A power sharing agreement was mandated by the UN, peacekeepers were brought in. Everything should have gone back to normal. But of course it didn't, as Charles Taylor needed the terror to continue. The fighting did not stop, and at one point, a large group of UN soldiers were kidnapped by the drugged up "rebel" forces. If peace had returned to Sierra Leone, it would put a stop to Charles Taylor's hugely profitable diamond operations.

Gradually as the fighting continued in spite of a peace deal, it became clear that this was not a typical tribal rebellion based on some legitimate grievance against corruption in the government. The Sierra Leone army was stretched to the limit. At that point, the British Government, under Tony Blair sent in a commando unit with the stated purpose of providing security for British citizens. When they arrived, the desperate people of Sierra Leone looked to them as their only hope of ending the carnage that was still going on. With the help of the British commandos, and a further effort of their own, they managed to turn the tide. They eventually persuaded most of the child soldiers to put down their weapons. The children, who now were actually getting to be teenagers and young adults, were eventually put into child soldier rehabilitation camps, and with time the refugees that had fled into neighbouring countries started to return.

Pat Robertson never got his fair share of Charles Taylor's profits. But he also never made an attempt to find out what was going on, in keeping with his philosophy of how to attain prosperity.

As the story became clear, and Charles Taylor was discovered to be the culprit, George W. Bush called on Charles Taylor to step down as President of Liberia. Pat Robertson, still loyal to his "Born Again Christian" friend Charles Taylor, rebuked Bush publicly, stating that Bush had no business interfering in the affairs of a sovereign African Nation. But Charles Taylor stepped down, and he was offered asylum in Nigeria. Later on, he was handed over by Nigeria, to eventually be taken to the international court in the Hague, to stand trial for war crimes in Sierra Leone. The trial is still going on.

Without Pat's financing and moral support, this carnage in Sierra Leone may have never happened. So did Sierra Leone a country similar to Haiti, founded by freed slaves, also deserve this misery because of a pact with the devil? Or was it actually Pat Robertson who made a pact with the devil.

True Story.

Read and print this, stuff it in a doll, and you're set to go with the Voodoo curses.

Also, read Wikipedia's version of Charles Taylors story here

A much more complete, and complicated story of the Sierra Leone Rebellion:

Picture: A traditional voodoo doll in full headache mode.

How to Make a Pact With the Devil

It is starting to get out of hand. Since I have posted the details of Bush and Obama's pacts with the devil, because of Pat Robertson's TV comments, I am getting a lot of hits from people looking up "how to make a pact with the devil" on Google.

I might as well confess I just made a pact with the devil myself. It was mostly because I wanted to get more hits on my blog. I figured it couldn't hurt to try. So apparently this is how the Devil rolls, eh? I get my hits, but only when I blog about how to make pacts with the Devil.

So here goes. The basic equipment is parchment (paper will do), and a strong NO in advance to all you geeks hoping you could do it by email or twitter.

Next you need a quill, an ancient form of writing device, made of a goose feather, but any sharp object will do. The quill is only better in that it holds more blood and allows you to write more words before needing to dip the point again. I won't go into the many other advantages of quills because I know anybody so lazy as to make a pact with the devil to avoid a little work, is going to just use a thumbtack or a nail. By the way, don't worry about the nail being rusty, tetanus is going to be the least of your problems. For Canadians, Canada Geese feathers are OK but those things bite like sons of bitches!

You next need to wait until just before midnight to write the pact, as Lucifer picks it up on the stroke of midnight, and it has to be fresh. In normal conditions, a pact can last for an hour, but when it's below -10c, it can stay fresh for up to 12 hours. (again a little help for Canadians there). The best place to get the blood is not your thumb, it is the crook of your elbow, whichever arm you are not writing with because you might inflict real damage if you do this drunk or stoned out of your mind, and you still need to write. Actually, getting drunk and stoned are highly recommended unless you need to drive home after.

Give yourself enough time to write what you want to write, and please be brief and to the point. I cannot stress forcefully enough how much the Devil gets impatient with run-on sentences, sentences without objects or verbs, and sentences that end in prepositions. He is however, remarkably tolerant of bad spelling, given his fussiness about syntax.

I suggest that you do not waste your time adding caveats, time limits, or late penalties. Hint: he is the Devil.

About a minute before midnight, put the parchment on a table, and say "Come Lucifer" three times. For French Canadians, reading this, an important note, you only say it once in French. And don't use Google's translation, say "Vien ici Diable".

I would advise getting your hands out of the way before the stroke of Midnight as precaution. Then look for the Devil's own instructions that he will leave as he takes your pact. Don't worry, they are never difficult to follow. It's not a trick by the Devil, it's just some stuff to be aware of to get the full enjoyment of your new pact. Kind of like the warning labels on a new computer, but these ones you don't ignore.

Any number of people can be in on a pact, they just need to be there at the handover. But unless instructed otherwise do not inform other people who were not present, of this pact with the devil.

I think that just about covers it. You can leave questions in the comments below if there is any confusion.

Next installment: Since the Pat Robertson voodoo doll has been taken off eBay, I will have instructions for how you make one yourself. Don't worry about the eBay doll, it was a hoax and besides, the bidding was up to $750.00 just before it got taken down. I know what you're thinking, and don't try it!

Did Bush Make a Pact With the Devil?

After my blog about whether Obama had a pact with the devil, it is only fair to give equal time to Bush's pact with the devil.

Dick Cheney had already chosen himself as the V.P. for the Bush campaign. George Bush was behind in the polls. On October 1, 2000, at 11:30 PM, Dick Cheney had a meeting with Bush.

"George, I know you wanna win this one. You are the only one who can end this reign of oppression by the godless socialist baby killers!"

"Well, Dick I'm fresh outta ideas. We tried every dirty trick in Karl Rove's play book, and we're still behind Robbin' Gore and his merry band of homosexuals in the polls."

"George, listen to me carefully. Principle is OK up to a certain point, but principle doesn't do any good if you lose. We also have to work, though, sort of the dark side, if you will. It’s going to be vital for us to use any means at our disposal, basically, to achieve our objective." *

"I still don't understand, Dick. What dark side?"

"I mean a pact with the devil George. We can do it here and now. I have a parchment and a quill. All you need to do is write your wish in your blood and sign it. Don't worry, spelling doesn't count."

George wrote his request in blood. "Now do I sign it?"

Cheney said "We're not finished yet, you also want to be a popular president. right? Add in that you want to have a popularity rating of over 80% before you sign it"

"Why not ask for 100%, Dick?"

Dick answered patiently, "I tried that with Saddam Hussein. Trust me, 80% is enough"

George scrawled the request in blood and read it back. "I do hereby pledge my soul to the devil, in return for your promise to let me be president after the election and to have an 80% approval rating after the first year. Signed, George W. Bush."

He handed the parchment back to Cheney who, as the hour approached midnight, lay the parchment on the table in front of them. They turned out the lights and held hands.

At the stroke of midnight Dick called three times, 'Lucifer, come!' Above Dick's head, George saw a pair of gleaming red eyes. Then a pale hand reached across the table. Horrified, George turned on a light. The first piece of parchment was gone and instead there was a new piece of parchment, smelling strongly of sulfur. It had the words 'Tell no one of this pact. Be in Florida on September 11th 2001, and trust in your victory.'

So Bush became president (The Devil made sure regardless of who won the election), and his poll numbers shot up to 82% thanks to 9/11. But each happened with the unmistakable M.O. of the devil (i.e. the Devil's trademark is it never happens in a nice way like you wanted). Cheney and Bush have never confessed, and the original pact has never been seen again.

True story. **


* The paragraph is made up entirely of well known quotes from Dick Cheney.
** "true story" quoted from Pat Robertson, about Haiti's deal with the devil


Picture: I had to photoshop this myself. The devil does not show up in normal photographs. This is Bush at a 9/11 memorial, the Devil is third from left, second row, and his hand is not over his heart.

Has Obama Made a Pact with the Devil?

Barack Obama has been in office as President of the USA for one year now. Is he successful or not?

He has been what I expected. I am satisfied, in that the USA has not dropped a nuclear bomb on Iran or North Korea. In fact there have been no threats of war against anyone. I am really happy that the stock market rebounded. Health care does not affect me, nor do jobs in the US, or the US debt (not directly anyway, as I have no money knowingly invested in US dollars.)

What is missing that I wish could have happened? I wish that the Americans could have rallied behind Obama, that Fox news would stop the constant stream of derision, invective, and dumping on him that they do. It would be nice to see Americans become more worldly, and learn from Obama's example how to handle themselves in foreign the countries.

Was there any unjustified criticism? Yes, and the latest from Fox news was that there were more terrorist attacks on American soil than under Bush. That includes the army psychiatrist who shot his fellow soldiers in a US army base, which I didn't consider to be terrorism, as I believed it was a psycho shooting. But OK it's a debatable point.

The fact that, the 9/11 was not included as a terrorist attack for Bush, shows something really sad about the Republicans. It is of course very shocking that they want to keep score on terrorist attacks as if it was a game, and the more successful terrorist attacks, the more they win. That was demented for a start, and the truly withering attack by Jon Stewart on this point seems to have effectively shut them up. But even worse was the reason 9/11 was not counted, on the theory that this was the first attack, and the "War on Terror" had not started. My interpretation, and one that I have believed for a long time was that Bush and Cheney and the Republicans in general were in denial that there was a war on terror going on before 9/11, and that contributed to the carnage. Of course many attacks happened before 9/11, and many people tried to tell President Bush it was a threat from day one. The Republican administration ignored all the warnings and all the previous attacks. Republicans are admitting publicly for the first time that they were not even thinking about terrorism before 9/11.

Most moderates and progressives think Obama is doing fine. Most right wing Republicans think he is a massive failure. Which I guess is normal. But consider the confusion if he had been a successful Black president. Conservatives would not know what to think until some reputable preacher came up with an explanation simple enough to make sense to even a white supremacist, that Obama made a pact with the devil. So by failing in the eyes of the conservatives, he at least proves he is not in league with the devil, which may help in the next election.

Picture: photoshopped (of course) I stole it off the internet. There were so many to choose from, I won't even bother to credit the website, it was just random pick.

Mythbusting for Haiti

It is pretty overwhelming to see what is going on in Haiti. But absolutely revolting to see the heartless attitudes some people take toward this tragedy. I especially despise Rush Limbaugh saying that nobody should give a penny to the Haitians.

I saw some comment like:
"What do they expect, they live in little tin roof shacks, of course they are going to be killed in an earthquake"

Fact: You are actually far less likely to die in an earthquake when you live in a miserable shack held up by broomsticks and twine, than you are to be killed when a larger multi story cement structure, probably built during the American occupation, collapses on your head.

Pat Robertson made a lot of errors in his condemnation of Haiti. The "Pact with the devil" they made to get free from France? I have gone over the pact with the devil contract before, it does not hold up to any scrutiny. I don't expect any truth from someone who believes in Adam and Eve anyway. But please, they were not fighting to be free of France. They at first wanted to remain a colony of France, and only to be free of slavery. Toussaint Louverture, their early and successful leader, wanted to negotiate for the end of slavery and remain a colony of France. But he was captured at the official negotiation, by the French, and sent to France where he died of disease in captivity. He was actually lucky, almost every other leader who stood up to the French was burned alive or tortured to death upon capture. It was only after these talks broke down, that the Haitians were forced to choose new leaders and decided to fight again for complete independence, against the treacherous French.

Another big question Pat raised, why are Haitians so poor, when right next door in Dominican Republic people are wealthy and happy? He reasons it's all about the "pact with the devil" which I actually find an improvement over many of the racist slurs other people make to explain the poverty.

Why is Haiti poor? After Haiti's independence, the French refused to trade with Haiti, and no other country would or could trade with them either. Either for revenge, or because of the so-called pact with the devil, of for pure racism. Anyway, no trade, no money. After a number of years of near mass starvation, the Haitians negotiated with the French, who were also hurting a little by this time, as Haiti had been a major source of wealth for them. The French offered a deal, take it or leave it, that the Haitians would have to repay France for every bit of land they took (the entire island of Hispaniola), and the full market price for every slave on the island who was freed by the rebellion, (almost the entire population) and all damages cause by either side in the rebellion. Ask yourself how this compares to the terms England gave to America after the war of independence. You may have to read up on that history again, but I'm sure you will not find reparations or trade embargoes. The Haitians were saddled with paying off a staggering debt, including extremely high interest rates from 1826 to 1879. So don't make disparaging comments about Haitian poverty if you don't know anything about their history.

Is there more? Of course. The entire Island of Hispaniola, for a time was under one government, but in 1844 considering the burdensome deal made with France, half the island split away, leaving the people in the Western half of the island (today Haiti) to pay the entire war reparations to France without the help of the Eastern half, now called Dominican Republic. That's the "wealthy" part that Pat Robertson compares to Haiti to "prove" there was a pact with the devil. Apparently, in Pat Robertson's eyes, poverty proves you have a pact with the devil, even when people are taking money from you unfairly. And by the way, the Dominican Republic is not actually paradise on earth either.

Another myth to dispel is this: That the people of Haiti are congenitally incapable of running a decent country. Either through stupidity, or pacts with the devil or whatever, the myth is, the Haitians just can't do it. Well just read up on their history, and you will find there was a period of time (approximately 1867 to 1911) when the Haitians actually were turning their little country into a nice place to live, with a growing intellectual class, and with arts and literature. Peace and stability were the norm. But Germany saw Haiti as a potential colony in about 1911, and the Americans retaliated by invading and brutally occupying Haiti. Since then it has been either outright American control, or American puppet dictators, more or less steadily. Later in this dictatorship phase (especially in the last 20 years), many of the most wealthy and educated Haitians emigrated to Canada or the USA, leaving the rest to deal with it. Not the best of conditions to try to run a good country.

Then this earthquake, and all of a sudden racists pop out of the woodwork with their opinions that do nothing but show their own ignorance and lack of either education or heart.

Now I see a video on CBC News  of a Canadian teenage girl in Haiti crying. Why? Because she and a group from her church were in Haiti during the earthquake, on one of these volunteer trips, doing some humanitarian work while visiting a developing country. She was crying, overcome with emotion of seeing all the dead bodies, hearing the screaming people trapped in the buildings, and yet in the middle of all this, their Haitians hosts were still doing their very best to make sure the Canadian guests were safe and taken care of.

How about if we just give these people a break for once?

Top picture: Haiti, taken from a travel blog here:

http://jeffandlauratravel.wordpress.com/category/travel/haiti/

Modern Day Puritans Condemn Haiti

I have learned some stuff about pacts with the devil. Number one, if you make a pact with the devil, any conditions you put on it are null and void. Such as if you say "Canada will be yours for 200 years if you give us our freedom", the devil will removed the time limit from the pact, but the pact is still good. As a matter of fact, the devil can decide he doesn't even have to make you free, and the pact is still good. Pacts with the devil are not like normal pacts.

Secondly, any pact with the devil, although it may or may not bring what you ask for, it will bring much more bad stuff eventually. Or not, depending on what the devil feels like.

The actual wording of Haiti's "Pact with the Devil" that Pat Robertson referred to, goes like this:

"The god who created the earth; who created the sun that gives us light. The god who holds up the ocean; who makes the thunder roar. Our god who has ears to hear. You who are hidden in the clouds; who watch us from where you are. You see all that the white has made us suffer. The white man's god asks him to commit crimes. But the god within us wants to do good. Our god, who is so good, so just, he orders us to revenge our wrongs. It's he who will direct our arms and bring us the victory. It's he who will assist us. We all should throw away the image of the white men's god, who is so pitiless. Listen to the voice for liberty that speaks in all our
hearts."

From the Associated Baptist Press

http://www.abpnews.com/content/view/4733/9/

Nobody knows for sure that this was the actual historical pact with the devil, The Voodoo priest might have said something else, as there were no eyewitness. And many other words were probably said during the pact making ceremony, for example about the 200 year limit. But this wording is the best we have to go on about the pact. An unspecified God was named in the pact, but not the White man's God. At that time was known that to be God, you had to be White, so the "god" referred to in the pact must have been the devil. That's how Pat knows it was a "Pact with the Devil".

We have no real proof of course, that they said these words. But we have the following circumstantial evidence to back it up.

1) Many Haitians themselves believe there was a pact with the devil. This is like if I believed that Canada made a pact with the devil in 1867, then it may be true because I am a Canadian, and I should know.

2) Haiti is a poor miserable country (say compared to the USA) That kind of indicates the Pact with the devil thing may be true, because we are told that the USA had no pact with the devil, and they are better off. It's not really solid, hard proof, but it does kind of point to Haiti being in league with the devil, and the USA being not in league with the devil.

I wonder if anyone can see in this, the heritage of Puritan thinking that led to the witch burnings in Salem Massachusetts. Rumors and hearsay, backed up by the circumstantial evidence (poverty).

Picture: Limbaugh and Robertson together at last